Two-Minute Drill

at BUFFALO 20, CHICAGO 3

Time to take stock of the Bears’ quarterback situation: 1. Cade McNown: injured, and he’s no good. 2. Jim Miller: injured, and he’s no good. 3. Shane Matthews: not injured, and he’s no good. The status quo remains.

at DALLAS 23, CINCINNATI 6

The Bengals (2-8) ensured themselves of 10th consecutive season without a winning record and quarterback Akili Smith completed only 10 of 25 passes for 68 yards. Shouldn’t he be with the Bears?

NEW ORLEANS 20, at CAROLINA 10

Saints’ season goes down with Ricky Williams. Chad Morton, roughly the same size as Spud Webb on steroids, will get the ball now. Maybe the opposing defense will be so busy laughing, he can pick up some yards.

at CLEVELAND 19, NEW ENGLAND 11

If you are a Patriot player, and the two main players who beat you are named Phil Dawson and Doug Pederson, you have to ask yourself one question: “Should I announce my retirement immediately, or wait until Tuesday?”

at DETROIT 13, ATLANTA 10

Lions gave game ball to new Coach Gary Moeller, who trusted his defense to hold Atlanta and kicked a late field goal instead of going for a touchdown. They must not have learned lesson Bobby Ross taught them: When in doubt, quit.

SEATTLE 28, at JACKSONVILLE 21

Seahawks almost lost game when safety Reggie Tongue got called for pass interference in the end zone with no time left. Of course, we all know what a slip of the tongue can do to you.

at MINNESOTA 31, ARIZONA 14

Randy Moss said of himself and the rest of the Viking receivers, “You think Jake Plummer would rather have them or us?” Well, first he would ask for real talent and smarts, then he’d get around to his receivers.

PHILADELPHIA 26, at PITTSBURGH 23 (OT)

No one’s really paying all that much attention, but Eagle quarterback Donovan McNabb proved in this game that he is becoming one of the league’s better quarterbacks.

BALTIMORE 24, at TENNESSEE 23

“Al’s a pro. There’s not another kicker in the league I’d like to have on my team,” Titan cornerback Samari Rolle said about Al Del Greco. How about one who can make important extra points and field goals?

MIAMI 17, at SAN DIEGO 7

Chargers honored great players, such as Dan Fouts and Lance Alworth, with an on-field ceremony at halftime. They quickly challenged the current team to a game and won.

at SAN FRANCISCO 21, KANSAS CITY 7

49er fans continue to rave about quarterback Jeff Garcia, but a check of the record shows the team is 3-8. A lot of rules have changed in recent years, but the goal still is to win the Super Bowl, right?

ST. LOUIS 38, at NEW YORK GIANTS 24

Giants are still in first place, but have lost, badly, to probable playoff teams Washington, Tennessee and now the Rams. Looks like a quick postseason exit, guys.

at TAMPA BAY 20, GREEN BAY 15

Buccaneers, who started the season by winning three in a row, then lost four in a row, and have now won three in a row again, bring to mind the old SAT question, “Which number is next in this sequence?”

at INDIANAPOLIS 23, NEW YORK JETS 15

Maybe the Jets will finally learn that you can’t come from behind to win every game. Occasionally, it helps to get off to a good start and take the lead early. Many good teams do that.

OPEN DATE: WASHINGTON