Houston Mitchell’s two-minute drill

at Atlanta 20, Tampa Bay 17: Redskins owners must be wondering why no protesters demand that Chris Redman change his name. at Buffalo 31, Miami 14: Chad Henne is named the “Betty Crocker player of the week” for his three delectable turnovers at end of game. at Cincinnati 16, Cleveland 7: You know it’s bad when Browns fans start longing for the glory days of Tim Couch. Indianapolis 35, at Houston 27: Colts’ new philosophy: “We’ll count to 10 and give you a head start before we go.” at Minnesota 36, Chicago 10: Brett Favre vs. Jay Cutler. It seems people were hoping the wrong guy would retire in the off-season. at N.Y. Jets 17, Carolina 6: Pete Carroll calls Mark Sanchez, wonders why he didn’t go for an immediate TD after late Panthers timeout. at Philadelphia 27, Washington 24: It’s probably too soon for another Dave Wottle reference, so we’ll just say: “Nice rally, Eagles.” Seattle 27, at St. Louis 17: New Gateway Arch motto: “Gateway to the West, where hopefully the Rams will be moving soon.” at Tennessee 20, Arizona 17: Hmm, Vince Young rallies his team to victory with a late touchdown. Why does that sound so familiar? at San Diego 43, Kansas City 14: Now averaging 50 yards a game, LaDainian Tomlinson will become NFL’s all-time rushing yards leader in 2016. at San Francisco 20, Jacksonville 3: In a clever move, Coach Mike Singletary quietly subbed in the 1985 Bears’ defense for the 49ers’ defense. at Baltimore 20, Pittsburgh 17 (OT): No-win game for Ravens. There’s no thrill in beating a team using its third-string QB, and if you lose, well . . . -- Houston Mitchell