Basketball Upsets Are Just Dust in the January Wind

I had to call a double technical on myself last week for breaking my own rule against believing any college basketball game played before Valentine’s Day had “ramifications.”

Villanova shocks No. 2 Kansas!

No. 11 Gonzaga loses to the University of San Francisco!

Florida State defeats No. 3 Wake Forest in overtime!

These pseudo “news” events almost suckered me in before reality took grip.

I like hoops as much as any man who deflates a ball and wears it as a head ornament, but repeat after me: Getting worked up over basketball before mid-February is like getting worked up over Christmas in July.

The NCAA basketball tournament may be the preeminent event in all sports, but, last time I checked, it doesn’t start until March.

College basketball has become so billion-dollar packaged and disproportionately back-weighted, the regular season has become one long post-up preamble.

Unfortunately, before “The Dance” comes “The Slow Dance.”

The regular season also meant more before the money to be made on conference tournaments could add a wing onto an athletic director’s office.

I admired the Pacific 10 for being the only league other than the Ivy (pretty good company) not to stage a postseason conference tournament.

A few years ago, though, the Pac-10 caved and now a school can remedy any regular-season downward spiral (UCLA, are you reading this?) and earn an automatic NCAA bid by hitting two last-second jump shots at Staples Center.

Of course, it is your prerogative to root for your team, jeer officials’ calls, chortle over USC’s carousel coaching search, and think a win or a loss in January matters -- even if it doesn’t.

Villanova shocks Kansas?

OK, anyone think Kansas is still not one of the eight to 10 teams that can win the national title?

Gonzaga loses to USF?

Gonzaga could lose to UPS five times and still make the NCAA field so long as the Zags rally to win the West Coast Conference tournament.

As badly as the bowl championship series has mangled the mechanics of college football, the underlying reason why leaders don’t want a postseason tournament has to do with the unwavering desire to protect a precious commodity, the regular season.

USC, Oklahoma and Auburn worked through 2004 knowing one defeat on a bad bounce would effectively end their national-title hopes -- Auburn was perfect and still didn’t win.

By contrast, three teams remain unbeaten in college basketball -- Illinois, Duke and Boston College -- and the smart money says these teams should lose a game before the NCAA tournament or risk the needless pressure that will come with trying to become the first unbeaten team since Indiana in 1976.

For now, until March, the bands play on. Duke will play Maryland, what, two or three more times?

In other words, don’t wake me up for Wake Forest.

Wake me when it matters.

In other news:

* Philadelphia and New England to meet in Super Bowl XXXIX.

They’re already calling it “Cheesesteak vs. Chowder.”

Well, if they’re not, they should be.

New England is starting to remind me of another dynasty -- a franchise that played tough defense, thrived in cold conditions, knew how to win on the road and managed the clock better than most watchmakers.

New England reminds me of the old Pittsburgh Steelers.

* Tiger Woods wins Buick.

A Buick?

No, the Buick.

Woods’ win at Torrey Pines marked his first stroke-play victory in 15 months. So much for marriage wrecking a perfectly brilliant golf career.

The fog has obviously lifted on Tiger’s “slump.” He may win all four majors this year. He may never lose again.

Or, maybe it was just a nice way to start the season?

* An Orange County judge last week refused to stop the Angels from changing their name to the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim.

The judge also ruled that, after eight wins in a row against UCLA in Westwood, Stanford basketball could legally change the name of UCLA’s home court to Maples Pauley Pavilion of Palo Alto.

* Temple has decided to continue playing Division I-A football although it has failed miserably and is without a league after getting booted out of the Big East.

If Temple can’t get into the Mid-America, its only option may be membership in the Conference of Bishops (North Division).

* Scribe for multicolored national newspaper takes issue with Los Angeles fans and sportswriters who are ripping the new-look Dodgers before they’ve played a game.

“Here’s a novel idea,” the scribe wrote. “Why don’t steamed, know-it-all Dodger seam heads give the new regime the opportunity to prove itself?”

Hey, we gave the Dodgers plenty of time: What do you call December and half of January?

* Forty percent of men surveyed by Yahoo! Hot Jobs say Ray Barone’s sportswriter’s job is the most desirable on TV.

I can knock that percentage down to 20% with an episode in which Barone interviews Bob Knight and asks the coach to explain why he hasn’t won a national title since 1987.

* Chris McCarron to leave his job at Santa Anita to open a jockey school in Kentucky.

At Jockey U, incoming freshmen can sit out one year using a “red-silk” season.

* Trying to prove Notre Dame is still in the football business, seven coaches showed up recently at a highly regarded recruit’s house in Akron, Ohio.

Too bad not one of them was the head coach. Um, how do we put this, he’s tied up on other business until Feb. 7.