Managing These Angels Seems to Be Easy as Pie

I stopped by Angel Stadium the other night figuring Mike Scioscia and I might catch a cup of coffee and spend some time discussing my fantasy baseball team. I find it’s taking a lot of my time, and Scioscia has plenty of that.

As loaded as the Angels are this season, Scioscia has nothing to do these days other than sit in the corner of the dugout and pat his players on the back after they return from crossing the plate. I thought he might appreciate the opportunity for a chance to make himself useful.

In the past few years the Angels have had the hitters, but not enough pitching, so Scioscia has had to do some work. Then they had the pitching, and not enough hitting, so he’d have to make some moves and on occasion even work up a sweat.

But right now he’s pretty much a freeloader, just taking up space in the Angel dugout, and when I mentioned this to Scioscia -- more as a compliment, you know, for scamming and getting paid for doing nothing -- I got a very strange reaction.

Right away he claimed he’s working harder than ever, although I have no idea who he thinks he’s kidding. Anyone can fill out the Angels’ lineup card these days, and get a bunch of runs, and it’s pretty well understood Bud Black makes all the pitching decisions, so what does Scioscia do?

“I’d hate to think I’m making the hour-and-a-half trip here every night to do nothing,” he said. “How do you think that pizza in the clubhouse got here?”

I have no doubt Scioscia ordered the pizza, and probably would eat the whole thing, which some folks might consider a man-size chore -- but not someone with the pizza experience of Scioscia. Where do you think they got the name for that movie: “Gone in 60 Seconds”?

It seemed that I was getting to Scioscia with the suggestion he has the easiest job in America, because he cut a pregame interview short to make a point of telling everyone, “time to go to work.” (I presume he was talking about eating the pizza.)

In fact I had no idea how much I was getting to him until the sixth inning Wednesday night -- when obviously for my benefit and to prove the point that there are things he must do during the course of a game -- he came on to the field, got into an argument with the umpire and got ejected.

But because he really doesn’t do anything, it mattered little to the Angels, who probably didn’t even notice he was gone, while going on to win again.

*

SCIOSCIA ISN’T the only freeloader these days in an Angel uniform. If you’re an Angel starting pitcher, all you have to do is hang around for five innings every time you pitch and you’ll probably win 20 games.

Take Jarrod Washburn. For almost 24 hours this week you could mention Washburn and Roger Clemens in the same sentence. Clemens led the National league with five wins and Washburn led the American League with five wins.

Clemens moved into second place on baseball’s all-time strikeout list this week with 4,140, inching ahead of Washburn by only 3,605. He also went on to win his sixth game -- again separating himself from Washburn.

Washburn is averaging less than six innings a start this season, but he might be on Clemens’ tail all season long the way the Angels are scoring.

“I’ve gotten nothing less than six runs a game when I’ve pitched, and with a 5.35 ERA, I should win those,” Washburn said with a grin. “With the bullpen we have and the offense we’re getting, I should win every game I pitch.”

He just has to hang around five innings to get the credit for the win. Then he can take the rest of the night off with Scioscia and eat a little pizza, although leaving Scioscia all by himself with a pizza for five innings might be a loss there’s no escaping.

*

IT’S A little tough to swallow the comments in a San Antonio newspaper from Phillip Harrison, Shaquille O’Neal’s stepfather, when he says, “Shaquille is the most dominant player to ever play the game.” Which quarter is he talking about?

*

FOUND THE perfect place to drown your sorrows after a Laker game: Frankie & Johnnie’s New York Pizza on Sunset. One of the owners is Kevin Wilson, son of the great comedian Flip Wilson.

I’m told on occasion you can find Shaq there chowing down, giving you the perfect chance to get right into Shaq’s face and call him out for his free-throw shooting. If Shaq asks -- just tell him Kevin Wilson sent you.

*

BOB MCNAIR, who nosed out L.A. to buy an expansion football team for Houston, also owns Congaree, and announced Thursday that the 6-year-old horse was being retired. “He is still sound and a beautiful physical specimen,” McNair said, “but he has informed us that he is ready to go to stud.”

Funny, I recall saying the same thing a number of years ago, but no one seemed interested in listening to me.

*

HERE’S A hunch play for you in Saturday’s running of The Los Angeles Times Handicap at Hollywood Park: TS Eliot. I like the horse because I figure it’ll make most Times editors unhappy -- because someone didn’t catch it and properly spell the nag’s name: T.S. Eliot.

*

EVEN THOUGH they might be playing their final two games together in Staples, when I heard about the “Friends” finale, Kobe and Shaq never crossed my mind.

*

TODAY’S LAST word comes in e-mail from Chuck Reilly:

“Correct me if I’m wrong here, but isn’t it the job of the local sportswriter for the local newspaper to at least show nominal support for the local baseball team?”

I tried that with the local basketball team. It doesn’t work

*

T.J. Simers can be reached at [email protected]. To read previous columns by Simers, go to latimes.com/simers.