TWO-MINUTE DRILL

at INDIANAPOLIS 29, DENVER 10

Jim Mora goes the Dick Vermeil route. For crying out loud, he just wants to keep his Colts’ job.

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at DETROIT 15, DALLAS 10

Let’s hope that Johnnie Morton’s “centipede” celebration doesn’t start a dance craze.

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GREEN BAY 34, at NEW YORK GIANTS 25

Emmitt Smith might want to solicit Brett Favre’s help next season when he goes after Walter Payton’s rushing record.

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at WASHINGTON 20, ARIZONA 17

Daniel Snyder must think Steve Spurrier can make a quarterback out of Tony Banks. If he can, then he is Coach Superior.

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at CHICAGO 33, JACKSONVILLE 13

The Monsters of the Midway are back, but they shouldn’t work on “Super Bowl Shuffle II” just yet.

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at PITTSBURGH 28, CLEVELAND 7

Eagerly awaiting possible playoff matchup between Bill “The Jaw” Cowher and Jon “The Glare” Gruden.

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CINCINNATI 23, at TENNESSEE 21

Neil Rackers, the NFL’s worst kicker, suddenly has a new racket--game-winning field goals.

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NEW ENGLAND 38, at CAROLINA 6

George Seifert and his all-time leading winning percentage among NFL coaches should have stayed retired.

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SAN FRANCISCO 38, at NEW ORLEANS 0

This isn’t way Louis Armstrong would have sung it, but here goes:

“Oh when the ‘Aints go limping out ...”

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at ST. LOUIS 31, ATLANTA 13

For entertainment value it’s difficult to choose between the Ram offense and Michael Vick.

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at MIAMI 34, BUFFALO 7

Alex Van Pelt is declared Bills’ quarterback of the future, then makes a Rob Johnson-type exit.

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at SEATTLE 21, KANSAS CITY 18

If Trent Dilfer keeps this up, he could become the 2000s version of Bart Starr.

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N.Y. JETS 24, at OAKLAND 22

Raider Nation may relocate in Afghanistan if team continues to blunder rather than plunder.

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PHILADELPHIA 17, at TAMPA BAY 13

Didn’t know that “The Replacements II” would be released this early.