Dodgers Not Impressing Anyone in Off-Season

It would seem that Dan Evans, the Dodger general manager, is quite willing to pay big money to mediocre pitchers. With that in mind, I would like to take this opportunity to officially offer my services. Now, I haven’t pitched since high school (about 10 years ago), and I only made one start, giving up seven runs in a no-decision. However, my record is very deceptive, and I can bring a lot of character to the Dodger clubhouse.

The best part of it all is that I’m not asking for Chan Ho Park money. I’m not even asking for James Baldwin or Terry Mulholland money. I’ll play for minimum wage, and probably give comparable numbers to the guys the Dodgers are thinking of acquiring.

At this point, I don’t see a downside for the Dodgers in signing me. At $6.75 an hour I’d be quite a bargain. I realize at age 26 I’m a bit young for the Dodgers’ plans, but look at the upside. I’m not asking for my own plane. I’m not asking for a no-trade clause. Scott Boras does not represent me. I just want a chance to help Mr. Evans improve my team in the way he thinks is best. I’ll be waiting by the phone.

Victor Palomarez

Van Nuys

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So Dan Evans thinks James Baldwin’s numbers are “deceptive.” As a Giant fan, it’s comforting to know the Dodgers are still operating from Kevin Malone’s “How to Be a General Manager” handbook.

Kevin Fitzpatrick

South Pasadena