Court Theater

It’s the only show in town where the actors rehearse with a script in one hand--and a book on libel law in the other.

But what else would you expect from law students who once a year put aside their study of torts and civil procedure to act in a Broadway-style musical that spoofs everyone from politicians to the most litigious of lawyers?

The shows have raised eyebrows for 15 years at UCLA, where law professor Kenneth Graham writes and produces them as fund-raisers to help pay students’ summer-job salaries with nonprofit law groups.

Graham borrows music from real Broadway productions such as “Kiss Me, Kate,” “West Side Story” and “Damn Yankees.” Then he adds new lyrics and story lines, turning them into “Obfuscate,” “Westside Glory” and “Damp Hankies.”

Last year’s musical took aim at UCLA Chancellor Charles Young and campus employee unions.

This year’s pokes fun at the 1950s-era anti-communism fervor at a fictional downtown Los Angeles law firm. It will be staged at 7 and 9 p.m. Saturday at UCLA’s Northwest Campus Auditorium. Tickets are $10.

Drawing from “Annie Get Your Gun,” Graham calls his musical “Anti-Kids ‘N Fun.” In what is bound to be a relief to all, the show does not contain a single reference to the O.J. Simpson case or its continuing cast of characters.

“I promised everyone there would be no Peter Arenella jokes this year,” Graham said.

Arenella, a UCLA law professor known for his network television commentary during Simpson’s criminal and civil trials, was lampooned as publicity-hungry “Prof. Happyfella” in Graham’s 1995 musical.

Students Keith Jaasma and Charles Newton shared the role at the two performances. To the tune of the Beatles’ “Can’t Buy Me Love,” they mimicked Arenella’s look and sang:

“I don’t mind teaching a class or two--It’s an audience that’s alive! But I need nationwide applause, if my ego is to thrive. So I don’t care too much for teaching, ‘cause teachers don’t get no pub!”

The song went on like that for five stanzas.

Jaasma, now a 27-year-old Houston lawyer, said he was initially apprehensive about the role. But he decided Arenella’s TV appearances had turned him into a public figure and “the laws for libel are a little less generous for public figures.”

Said Newton--now a corporate lawyer in downtown Los Angeles: “Peter was on TV all the time. Our classes would be postponed so he could go outside and talk to CBS. He was an especially enjoyable person to poke fun at.”

Two days after the show, the 28-year-old Newton was back in Arenella’s criminal procedure class. And Arenella was waiting.

“I made a show of calling on him, as if I was about to keep the entire class focus on him to make him sweat,” Arenella recalled this week.

“I wasn’t offended. I’m sure my fans were . . . but students who thought I was an S.O.B. were pleased.”

Arenella said he has never attended one of the shows and has no plans to start now. But other UCLA law professors do.

Veteran constitutional law professor Kenneth Karst enjoys the musicals so much that he often volunteers to perform. “I think students enjoy their teachers being silly. I mean being silly on purpose,” he said.

Although student productions are not unusual at law schools--talent shows are common on many campuses--Broadway-style musicals written by a law professor are.

Graham, 61, said his theatrical career started by accident in 1981 after he was recruited to portray a professor in a student-run variety show. Soon after, he broke his elbow playing basketball.

*

During his long recuperation, Graham wrote a legalese-laced parody of the Broadway show “Oklahoma!” That turned into “Carcinoma,” the production that launched the law school’s series of musicals.

Graham, who has taught classes in evidence at UCLA since 1964, bases many of the shows on actual court cases. He spends hundreds of hours writing them; it takes students, staff and faculty members about a month to memorize lines and lyrics.

“No, I don’t understand all of them,” admitted performer Debra Westerberg, the law school’s fund-raising director. “Ken will say, ‘Oh, that would take six months of civil procedure to understand--just say it.’ The laughs usually come in places I don’t expect.”

Sean Nguyen, 23, of Van Nuys, said he joined this year’s cast to relieve the tension of law school. “Being a first-year student is pretty stressful,” he said.

Added performer Maya Alxendri, a second-year student: “It’s very easy to take law school way too seriously.”