Playing the Match Game : Entrepreneurs Dean Testerman and Katherine Duliakas Make It Their Business to Join Lonely Hearts
- Share via
Never underestimate the power of love--or the unusual ways people try to make it happen.
Dean Testerman and Katherine Duliakas are two young entrepreneurs who are trying to make it happen. He’s the creator of the Closet Cupid, a video dating service for gay men and women, and she’s the founder of Eligible magazine, a quarterly publication that profiles eligible bachelors across the country.
Both believe romance is far from dead--it just needs a little kick-start.
Testerman is a transplanted Midwesterner who arrived here three years ago wanting to make his fortune as an actor.
“The first thing I did,” the 25-year-old recalls, “was take out a personal ad. I didn’t know a soul. How was I going to meet people? I was too horrified and too shy to actually go to a bar. And I thought there was one (gay) bar in all of L.A.”
In the months to come, he found that the city had a large and active gay population--and more than one bar. He landed a steady corporate job, even went on some auditions, but ultimately he realized he needed more creative work.
One day it hit him: He’d answered his share of personal ads, been set up by friends--surely there were others also tired of blind dates and bar scenes looking for a partner, too. “That’s why I started the business,” Testerman says. “I know what it feels like.”
In May, 1993, Testerman started the Closet Cupid, operating out of his Fairfax district apartment. He advertised in gay publications and handed out flyers. Now the business has 160 to 200 members, about a third women (memberships range from $75 to $200 a year). The name doesn’t imply all members are closeted, but members can maintain some anonymity by using only first names.
Clients do a video interview and fill out questionnaires, listing answers such as education level, favorite foods, biggest assets and liabilities, last book read and the best piece of advice from Mom. Listing HIV status is optional, and Testerman says he doesn’t guarantee veracity. All this and a current photo go into a book.
Members can peruse the book and watch the videos, and if a mutual match is made, the two go on a date. Clients also meet via special events like parties and mixers.
“I think it’s so important to have control,” says Testerman, who is currently unattached. “It’s more empowering to me to be able to say OK, I tried this date, it was my choice, I don’t have to be mad at a friend for fixing me up.”
Testerman still acts, and in addition has his own public access cable show and a syndicated radio show. “I’m still this idealist who thinks that if you help change one person’s life, it’s going to better everything.”
“David” became a member last April after a breakup; “I’d seen an ad before and thought I’d call and see what the deal is,” he says. “It was a total blast. I wanted to meet people, and to date--I had never done that before.”
And although David says he hasn’t met the love of his life yet, he has made some good friends.
“I felt like a teen-ager again, I really had fun,” he recalls. “And I got to learn things about L.A. by going to places I had never been before. It was very enlightening.”
*
For years, publisher Katherine Duliakas listened to her single female friends complain: “All the good ones are taken.” Now she’s proven them wrong.
With the debut of Eligible magazine in March, 1994, Duliakas let the women of America know that all the good ones aren’t taken. In the past two issues, bachelors have included a hotel-casino owner, a comedian, a screenwriter, a news anchor, a deputy district attorney, a real estate developer, a bodybuilder and a pilot.
“A lot of my friends are attractive, intelligent women with their own careers,” Duliakas explains, sitting in her Tarzana office, “and they seem to have this trouble meeting the right guy. I’ve always been the optimist, I’ve always believed that things are meant to be.
“I thought there were a lot of interesting men out there that no one really knew about because they weren’t celebrities. But these guys are doing a lot on their own, they’re ambitious, and they’re just as attractive as celebrities. I wanted to let people know that there was hope, that they’re out there, and they’re looking to get married.”
But don’t call Eligible a singles magazine. Duliakas says the title actually “reflects the reader, who is an eligible, independent, sophisticated woman. The articles concentrate on empowering women, letting them know we can make choices, we have options, there’s not this stigma anymore that you’re 35 and single. It doesn’t mean you have to be career-driven with no time for a relationship, or that life can’t be fulfilling without a man. We want to show that you can have it all.”
Bachelors are chosen by Duliakas and her staff from referrals, word-of-mouth and research--and now some single men are coming directly to them. In the back of the magazine readers are told how they can write to the men or leave a voice mail message.
Besides being available, Duliakas looks for other criteria in bachelors: “They are people who seem to give back a lot. As successful as they are, they find the time to give to charity, things like that. It’s the whole package, not just looks or success or intelligence. It’s someone who has that magnetism, someone who’s confident.”
Confident enough to be profiled in a magazine as an eligible bachelor? Well--sort of.
“Some of them did say no at first,” says Duliakas, 35 and a former Ralphs cashier. “Some of them say they feel a little uncomfortable, like they’re saying, ‘Here I am, I’m eligible, I’m attractive,’ whatever, but I think overall they look at it more as their lives are so busy and intense, this is a little bit more footloose.”
Stuntman/director Gary Davis, who was in the second issue, found that the experience, “certainly boosted my confidence somewhat, but it hasn’t changed my grasp on reality.”
He says he went out with a few of the women who contacted him and found them all nice. (He has since started dating someone he didn’t meet through the magazine.)
“Do I think I’m a good catch? Hmmm. Yes, I do,” he says. “I’ve achieved most of what I wanted to achieve in my life and I’m happy with myself, yes.”
Duliakas, who is unattached, says that in talking with bachelors coast to coast, “what I’ve found is that men and women want the same things. I think men are looking for a partner in life. There are still playboys out there--and women, as well--but I think people are getting back to courting and finding someone to spend their life with. Love is an important part of life, and it shouldn’t be taken for granted.”
More to Read
Inside the business of entertainment
The Wide Shot brings you news, analysis and insights on everything from streaming wars to production — and what it all means for the future.
You may occasionally receive promotional content from the Los Angeles Times.