Making capital punishment pay: You can’t accuse...

Making capital punishment pay: You can’t accuse Assembly candidate Adam Michelin of uttering nothing but empty platitudes.

Michelin, a Republican seeking to unseat heavily favored Curtis Tucker Jr. (D-Inglewood), has this no-nonsense, anti-crime provision in his platform:

“Any prisoner with a sentence longer than his or her life expectancy shall be allowed the choice of voluntary death or jail time. If death is selected, the prisoner will receive 10% of the present value of any estimated savings from not serving time, to be left to his or her estate.”

And the state will be “required to pay the victim(s) of the crime 20% of the present value of any estimated savings.”

Pressed to elaborate on his proposal by a Times reporter, Michelin admitted, “I haven’t worked out all the details on that one yet.”

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Hysterical milestones: We just received a copy of the 1995 Venice Beach Historical Calendar, compiled by Thomas Pleasure of Constitutional Capers--a reminder of the glorious history of the world skateboarding capital. Some anniversaries that you should plan to observe next year:

* “Jacko, 80-pound, 4-foot Baboon of Famous “Monkey Farm” (end of Venice Pier) Escapes and Bites Two Women Before Being Killed by Police” (March 31, 1931).

* “Venice Becomes Headquarters for Pacific Rollerskating Assn.” (April 11, 1917).

* “Lawrence Welk’s First Televised Show for KTLA (Aragon Ballroom)” (May 2, 1951).

* “Sarah Bernhardt Performs ‘La Sorciere’ at Venice Auditorium” (May 18, 1906).

* “Disappearance of Evangelist Aimee Semple McPherson (North Beach)” (May 18, 1926).

* “Hopalong Cassidy’s 80-acre Hoppyland Opens” (May 26, 1951).

* “L.A. City Council Passes Anti-Bongo Ordinance” (July 2, 1965).

* “ ‘The Doors’ are Born on Venice Beach (Jim Morrison & Ray Manzarek Attending Musicians)” (July 15, 1965).

* “L.A. City Council Votes 14-1 Against Nude Beach” (July 18, 1974).

* “State Health Department Fumigates Sewage-Contaminated Canal Areas With Cyanide Gas” (Sept. 10, 1924). While the gondoliers coughed romantically, we assume.

Mixed greeting: David Gershwin noticed that along one boundary, Santa Monica can’t seem to make up its mind whether Angelenos are welcome to enter. Maybe the city’s afraid that L.A. folks will try to smuggle across their bongo drums.

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Snub Pedro: A reader notes that three of the freeways branching out from the Downtown four-level are named for their destinations--the Hollywood, the Pasadena and the Santa Ana. But the fourth, which heads for San Pedro, is instead named the Harbor. Snubs such as these are the reason that San Pedroites--or is Pedroids?--occasionally talk about seceding from L.A.--and, no doubt, putting up “Do Not Enter” signs at their common boundary.

miscelLAny Speaking of making a break, two of the reasons Orange County withdrew from L.A. County in 1889, according to the book “A Hundred Years of Yesterdays” was that (1) a stagecoach ride from Anaheim to the county seat in L.A. cost the outlandish price of $6, and (2) the county’s only rolled fire hose was kept in L.A.