For Seniors : At 71, Helen Simos Still Has a Lifetime of Living to Do
The floor of Helen Simos’ modest living room in Santa Monica is piled with travel books, clipboards filled with calendar events and handwritten notes of things to do. While the radio plays an old Eagles song, Simos praises thrift shops and the bargains she’s furnished her apartment with.
For Simos, 71, freedom is another way to say there’s a lot to do and she wants to do it all. She retired last year, but has remained busy. As always. She’s always had an indomitable spirit.
Simos does not have a great deal of money. But what she does have is a need to live, rather than just survive. Too many women of her generation have allowed that spirit to die.
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Although Simos is out there with enough enthusiasm and zest to party every day, her life could easily have gone another way.
The eldest of six children of Greek immigrants, she grew up in a strict household in Ridgewood, N.J. All major decisions in the home were influenced by her father. His opinion mattered to her even as an adult. She sought his advice about her marriage, which she said had gone bad after 10 years. He told her to get out of it.
“I didn’t know anymore who I was,” Simos recalled. “The one thing I did know was that I couldn’t fake passion. That’s what saved me. I was in my early 30s and divorce was such a stigma in those days for the woman.”
She decided to leave her husband to live with her sister in California.
“I told my father, ‘Pop, I can’t take it anymore. I’m going to California to a psychiatrist.’ I thought it was all my fault, and he said, ‘You’re the oldest of my children and I want your happiness.’ ”
That’s all Simos needed him to say. “A big rock came off my back and I stood up straight. No one was there to belittle me. I got a checking account, my own credit rating, and I went to my boss of the electronic business I was working for at the time and asked him what do I have to do to get ahead. And then I made up for lost time,” she said.
Simos never remarried but she had a lot of boyfriends. Many wanted to marry her but she demurred.
Nowadays, she has men friends to go dancing with, and although marriage is out of the question, she always dreams of romance.
“At my age, I don’t want to take care of anyone. I like to do for people but not on a day-to-day (basis). Some of my friends have husbands who can’t find their socks, for crying out loud. But if I met someone with my outlook and he said, ‘Helen, let’s go climb that mountain’ or even brought over some hot dogs and a six-pack and took me on a picnic--just surprise me, for goodness sake--I’m going to jump (at him),” she said.
But Simos is not waiting around for that to happen. Besides planning a trip to Italy, she’s gathering information for a safari to Africa and another visit to Portugal. Her big dream is a river-rafting trip down the Colorado.
Earlier this year she went on a retreat in Northern California run by the Greek Orthodox church to get back to her ethnic roots.
She studied icons, Greek orthodoxy, music and slept in a convent.
Her everyday life, though, is connected to Emeritus College of Santa Monica.
“Monday mornings, I study philosophy. What a good-looking guy teaching it. Monday afternoon, literature--American short stories. Tuesday, gospel singing at the Calvary Baptist Church in Santa Monica. I love it!”
Wednesday and Friday mornings Simos walks five miles with the Santa Monica Strutters, a group of seniors who take walks around Santa Monica Place three times a week. Wednesday afternoons, she’s at the Farmers Market. Thursdays, she’s at the Ocean Avenue Senior Center doing aerobics. “We dance to all kinds of music, shakin’ it up a little. It’s a beautiful spot to exercise and the teacher, Yvonne, is this big (Simos holds her hands six inches apart) and I love her,” she says.
Friday is her day to do errands and take care of friends who need help. She usually visits the library and borrows Billie Holiday or Maria Callas compact discs. This week she’ll take out books about herbs. “I love libraries. I just like to go into them. I want to know about planting an herb garden. Someone told me about making these healthy drinks from basil,” she says.
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Sometimes Simos has friends to go hiking with on the weekends. But many times she’s alone, which doesn’t bother her because she’s always meeting people. Sunday she walks alone to the Venice Boardwalk to watch the action on the beach. “I never mind being alone. I stop for a beer, meet people. I find with young people if you make the first move they come right along. Sometimes I just say, ‘Isn’t it a beautiful day?’ and a conversation starts,” she says.
Simos expects to live alone for the rest of her life, but she does not expect to be lonely. Her closeness to her brothers and sisters gives her the warmth that keeps her fire alive. She admits that if she was truly alone, without family, her life would be full of activities, but not necessarily with the love and history that only a family can give you.
“My sisters and brothers are the older generation now. There used to be always someone older and now we’re the oldest. By God, I’m 71. What happened to 40? What happened to 50? How did I get to be this age?” she asks in complete wonderment.
People are always asking Simos for her secret formula for energy. For her it’s not terribly complicated. Her family provides the warmth. Her women friends provide the sisterhood and the laughs. “We’re all alike underneath,” she says. “We let our hair down and you could wet your pants with some of the stories they tell.”
