THE NBA / MARK HEISLER : Playing or Coaching, Big Guys Are Tough to Get

Coach Earvin, the legacy: Now that it’s officially a 15-game tour, all the Lakers can do is try to make the best of Magic Johnson’s month.

Is it disappointing?

Believe that. Everyone was excited. Now everyone feels let down.

Was it worth it?

Jerry Buss gambled and lost, so there’s no use talking about how good it would have been. If you’re inclined, you could say, “Nice try.”

Is there an up side?

There will be if the Lakers can hire another big guy to raise everyone’s spirits. Big guys are hard to recruit, however, and command kings’ ransoms. If they call Rick Pitino, his response won’t be, “Me? Really? I’ll be right out!”

It will be, “I’ve got the Hornets on the other line. How about 10 years at $25 million and a say in personnel?”

What’s the down side?

The big guys might turn them down, leaving them to install another rookie, who will either be a genius or get eaten up by the players and the expectations as Randy Pfund was. Then they’ll waste another season or two.

WHERE HAVE ALL THE FLOWERS GONE?

The league has never had more bad teams, even in an expansion year. The Dallas Mavericks have a chance to become the first team to post back-to-back 70-loss seasons. Before them, it had been done only twice.

Eight teams won’t win 30 games. Only one of them entered in the last expansion of 1988 and 1989. The rest bumbled their way to the bottom, some on age, most on merit.

Starting from the bottom:

DALLAS MAVERICKS--When the owner starts getting rid of everyone so he can bring back his original coach, who already proved to be a pain there and everywhere he went afterward, you glimpse the dimensions of the problem.

That’s what’s happening in Big D, where Donald Carter, the well-meaning-but-a-tad-confused owner, sacked personnel director Rick Sund, booted General Manager Norm Sonju upstairs, might yet ax all-world-disaster Coach Quinn Buckner. . .and wants to bring back Dick Motta.

Motta is an old-school, bad-tempered tyrant who couldn’t handle young players 10 years ago when they weren’t half the head cases they are now. He doesn’t want to be the new general manager, but might consider coaching. Lucky them.

MILWAUKEE BUCKS--They outsmarted people with an aging roster for years, then fell like a dead tree in a hurricane. Mike Dunleavy, who has the brains and the necessary long-term deal, backed up the truck, but he’s only starting.

MINNESOTA TIMBERWOLVES--A mismanagement clinic, featuring poor choices in coaches, starting with strung-out Bill Musselman, leading to Mr. Nice Guy, Sidney Lowe, whom temperamental young stars Christian Laettner and Isaiah Rider trample daily. Owners Marv Wolfensen and Harvey Ratner incurred a $75-million cost overrun on a $50-million arena--maybe they didn’t need that health club?--making the final tab $125 million and a debt that has them threatening to move. David Stern is trying to keep it together, but everyone in the Twin Cities has had a bellyful of the Timberwolves.

DETROIT PISTONS--Marketing skill kept people coming, and they can’t bear to actually tear it down and rebuild. With Isiah Thomas moving upstairs, maybe they can make Bill Laimbeer coach as a public-relations move.

WASHINGTON BULLETS--If it wasn’t for bad luck, they wouldn’t have any luck at all. Despite five consecutive lottery appearances, they haven’t drafted better than fifth. The last time they were in the top three was 1968, when they took Wes Unseld, now the coach who’s about to be booted upstairs.

PHILADELPHIA 76ERS--Years of owner Harold Katz’s madcap deals and drafts--remember Kenny Payne over Vlade Divac?--cost them players such as Brad Daugherty and Charles Barkley and cast them into the lottery until 1995 at least.

SACRAMENTO KINGS--Like the Bullets, they’ve assembled some good young players but need to get lucky.

CLIPPERS--Another lost season. This team could at least have finished strong after ending the Danny Manning distraction. Instead, it quit dead in its tracks. Management bought another two years by trading for 34-year-old Dominique Wilkins, but even if ‘Nique and Ron Harper sign, are they in the playoffs? Who in the West can they beat out? What happens in two years?

Of such vision are losers institutionalized.

VOTE FOR ME OR ELSE. . .

Dikembe Mutombo speaks five languages, but the Nugget center must have missed a word or two of English, such as modesty .

Because he plays in the NBA, where the rule is “I’d be more modest if I wasn’t so great,” we’ll forgive him this one.

Reward .

This is something one earns with superior performance, rather than by asking for it.

Campaign .

This is a process wherein one persuades others with logic and sentiment, rather than threatening them.

Mutombo, an otherwise nice young man, now refers to himself as “a great defensive player” and demands to be enshrined as the NBA’s defender of the year.

He leads the league in blocked shots, is praised by rival coaches such as Seattle’s George Karl (“He must block seven a game against us”) and even endorsed by a competitor, Hakeem Olajuwon (“He’s got my vote”).

To Mutombo, that makes it unanimous.

“I think there is no doubt in my mind, I have to win that thing,” he said. “I deserve it. If I don’t get it, I will tell the league to kiss my rear end. I will tell the media and the press. I don’t know what else should I do to tell them I deserve the reward.”

I can’t think of anything.

HE FEELS ANOTHER BOOK COMING ON

Pat Riley’s New York Knicks continue to swing from naught to juggernaut, losing eight of 12, winning 15 in a row, losing four of five.

Riley says it’s that old menmotum.

“You won’t find it in your dictionary,” he says. “It’s the reverse of momentum. You can never feel when menmotum will grab you around the throat because it just keeps subtly cropping up.

“In the last few games we’d won, we hadn’t played as well as we could. When you tell guys they’re doing something wrong while they’re winning, they roll their eyes. But when you lose, they listen.”

For those who prefer explanations in words found in the dictionary, try this: The Knicks overachieved for a month with a fantastic defensive effort and a weak schedule (NBA streaks usually start with an opportunity granted by the schedule to build momentum). Upon returning to earth, they missed the injured John Starks. How would a team averaging 96 points not miss a 19-point scorer?

FACES AND FIGURES

OK, it was me: Ken Norman, who left the Clippers as a free agent, was so hated in Milwaukee, he tried to talk the Clippers into dealing for him. “I’m a much better player than I displayed, and I’m a much better leader than I displayed. I’m somewhat embarrassed about the season. In fact, it’s the biggest disappointment in my life, the way the season has gone for me.” . . .Orlando Magic players donned special T-shirts and did what Shaquille O’Neal called “the young guns’ tribal dance” to celebrate making the playoffs for the first time. Said Jeff Turner: “The tribal dance was my signal to leave.” Magic players then carried Coach Brian Hill off the floor. Said Dennis Scott: “We did that for B. You can open the paper and see where Don Nelson or some coach with a prestigious name should be our coach, but we know Brian is the only coach for us.”

Magic Johnson on Chris Webber, whom he befriended when Webber was an eighth-grader: “The players are so different now. I was just hearing the other day Chris Webber was complaining about Don Nelson. I was thinking to myself, ‘What do you want?’ I’ve always thought of Don Nelson as a player’s coach. He lets you run. He lets you shoot. What more do you want? And Nellie’s a good guy too. I just don’t understand.” Webber then went for 25 points, 10 rebounds and nine assists against the Lakers, proving that while youth may be inscrutable, it must also be served.

NBA types are advising Purdue’s Glenn Robinson to declare for the draft--whether he leaves school or not. He’s guaranteed to be the top pick this year. Next year, he could conceivably go No. 2, behind Rasheed Wallace, or could get hurt and lose some value.... Ricky Pierce, the closest thing the Seattle SuperSonics have to a go-to guy, is back after having a spur shaved off the top of his left foot. However, Gary Payton and Kendall Gill blossomed with additional minutes and Karl must now find time for four guards.... Coach Phil Jackson said he had thought his Chicago Bulls would win 49 games this season. With a 3-1 finish, they will equal last season’s 57.

Askia Jones of Kansas State, the son of former 76er Wali Jones, was MVP at the Portsmouth, Va., tournament, the first of the pre-draft camps. The rest of the all-tournament team: Melvin Booker, Missouri; Lawrence Funderburke, Ohio State; Brooks Thompson, Oklahoma State, Dickey Simpkins, Providence; Travis Ford, Kentucky; Kendrick Warren, Virginia Commonwealth. Portsmouth leads to invitations to the Phoenix camp in June.

Minnesota broadcaster Kevin McHale, a passionate Democrat, on turning down an invitation to meet President Bill Clinton: “I’ve had my experience with those Presidential things. We (the Boston Celtics) went to the White House after we won in 1984. It was about 150 degrees in the Rose Garden. (Ronald) Reagan came out and he mumbled something. Then he butchered (John) Havlicek’s name. That was it for me.”