Lyle & Julia--Try Writing the Lyrics to <i> That</i> Song : Commentary: Lovett’s songs--with intelligence, sensitivity and humor--give clues to his appeal in this unexpected pairing. He and Roberts met on set of the film ‘The Player.’

Lyle Lovett and Julia Roberts?

Who would have ever figured?

What did a famous, sensitive, bright person see in . . . a Hollywood actress?

You could spend years trying to figure this one out from both sides.

Why would the shy, down-to-earth Lovett commit to an actress who has been linked with any number of Hollywood’s hottest male stars and even walked away from one as their wedding day approached?

And what did she see in him? With his Eraserhead haircut and looks that even he refers to in a self-deprecating manner, Lovett is hardly the leading-man type.

But the best clues for Lovett’s appeal probably come from his own songs--full of intelligence, sensitivity and humor--in which he explores the trials and tribulations of relationships as well as anyone in the last decade.

Lovett doesn’t come across as your typical country singer. But his music reflects a restless spirit whose heart has been broken and who is looking for someone who will accept him for what he is.

The songs combine a contemporary pop sophistication with a simple, down-home belief in traditional values and love that lasts forever. At the same time, there is a wariness of relationships often expressed in wickedly funny terms.

As such, he often blends the satiric barbs of Randy Newman with the wistful sentimentality of Hank Williams.

Lovett and Roberts reportedly met on the set of Robert Altman’s “The Player,” but years before he had written a song, “Cowboy Man,” that in retrospect seems to tell their unlikely story.

She wore glass slippers

she held her head up high

she had that sparkle at her feet

and that twinkle in her eye

she smiled at me

and as I wondered why

she said I’m looking for a cowboy

to take me for a ride

and he can rope me on the prairie

and he can ride me on the plain

and I will be his Cinderella

If he’ll be my cowboy man

But in his next album, “Pontiac,” Lovett seemed like anything but the marryin’ type as he reflected the classic country outlaw fear of being tamed:

The preacher asked her

And she said I do

The preacher asked me

and she said yes, he does too

And the preacher said

I pronounce you 99 to life

Son, she’s no lady,

she’s your wife.

Even when he’s being satirical, Lovett shows his longing for a relationship that is supportive and nurturing. In the song “I Married Her Just Because She Looks Like You,” Lovett writes:

and for every time you knocked me down

she reaches out to help me

and for every time you cursed me

she says , darling I love you

Lovett’s hilarious part in “The Player” has landed him other film offers, but he seems unseduced by the glitter of Hollywood. That’s in keeping with the values and sentiments expressed in his 1987 song “Which Way Does That Old Pony Run”:

So this good life you know I must leave

your new car

and your color TV

but what’s riches to you

just ain’t riches to me

and if you’re staying out here

then I’m headed back East

So Lovett, like other cowboy singers before him, has a bit of outlaw in him. And that’s a trait that has long attracted actresses.

Back in the ‘70s when Kris Kristofferson was writing country hits like “Help Me Make It Through the Night” and “For the Good Times,” there were rumors and actual sightings of Kristofferson dating almost every eligible actress in Hollywood.

And there have been stories about Willie Nelson and Waylon Jennings also being sought out by actresses who fell in love with their outlaw image and their sentimental country songs about the endless struggle to find a woman who could love them without trying to change their restless, independent spirit. It’s even followed the new breed of country singers: Clint Black is married to actress Lisa Hartman.

Songwriter Lee Clayton told about the seductive nature of country singers in an early ‘70s hit titled “Ladies Love Outlaws.”

Ladies love outlaws

Like babies love stray dogs

Ladies touch babies

Like a banker touches gold

And outlaws touch ladies

Somewhere deep down in their soul