Pit Bull

Recently, I came across an Outtakes item that seemed at first glance to be about a pit bull who had really made it big on local radio (by Patrick Goldstein, May 1).

I read these eagerly; however, I soon discovered that they were not about a dog, but about a horrible human whom Patrick Goldstein had inexplicably dubbed “The Pit Bull” of radio station KMPC.

Being a gentle pit bull, I see very little physical resemblance between Guy Kemp and myself; in fact, as you can see from the photo below, I am much better looking than he is.

There is the other disturbing possibility, of course, that Kemp has earned that title because he is vicious; but even that is not totally accurate, despite the sentiments of all the Goldsteins who think that “gentle pit bull” is an oxymoron.

I myself am a mild-mannered soul who sleeps by the fire, digs up flower beds and daily listens to radio in the hope of hearing Spyro Gyra; in other words, just your ordinary everyday dog.

I have grown weary, therefore, of all these vicious disc-jerks who keep giving the harmless pit bull an even worse reputation than their canine counterparts did last summer.

First KLSX--now this! Maybe I’d better just go back to reading books.

SHAKEDOWN II

(With help from

Schuman Deckenstein Wall)

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