Resolved to Stay Tuned In to the L.A. Social Swirl

Resolutions of an irresolute party-goer:

1. I will not use the word glitzy more than once a week.

2. I will make sure that this year I cover the March of Dimes Gourmet Gala, any luncheon given by Judy Henning, Contessa Cohn’s Valentine Party, the Amanda Foundation Fashion Show, the Robinson Garden’s August Moon Party, and (if I get invited this time) any wedding of Zsa Zsa Gabor. (None of these were covered by me this year, and they all turned out to be wonderful, friends say.)

3. I will listen to what public-relations people try to tell me on the phone, even if they begin the conversation with “Hello, Marie.” Or “Hello, Mary Ellen.” Or “Hello, Mary Sue.”

4. I will stop throwing away, unopened, the multitudinous releases from the County Museum of Art, which some days number three or four.

5. I will try to go to more non-Westside parties (and the way to get me there is to invite me, so listen up West Covina and Downey).

6. I will take personal umbrage at any benefit chairman (no matter how righteous the cause) who tells me that dozens of stars will be showing up--and then produces faces that only an insomniac movie buff could identify.

7. I will be sure to point out any charity benefit where the costs of the food, flowers and etc. mean that very little cash goes to the charity.

8. I will try to write at least two hours ahead of deadline, so the patient saints who edit my copy will not go into an early decline.

9. I will try to remember to thank publicly those in our community who change our lives. And, belatedly, a thank you to my colleague and competitive friend Army Archerd, whose courageous story in Variety on Rock Hudson’s illness alerted the world to the plight of those with AIDS.

10. I will not attend any charity event with an invitation the cost of which equals the gross national product of an undeveloped country.

11. I will ask the whereabouts of celebrities and corporate heavy hitters who are listed as chairmen of charity benefits. These famous types frequently lend their names but not their presence--and that seems unfair to ticket buyers.

12. I will ask where the women are on committee lists, especially those involving political candidates. Some committees this year looked like “boys’ night out.”