WANNA HOLD MY GLAND?

Yuck, more gross-outs from director Stuart Gordon and Empire Entertainment--who brought us the gore-feastings film “Re-Animator.” It’s “From Beyond,” just shot in Italy, due for screens in October. We took a look at the script (from a short story by horrormeister H. P. Lovecraft) and found it oozing with scares.

Read the following at your own risk:

This crazed doctor with a weird personal life (he likes his women in bondage) has an equally bizarr-o professional quest. He’s created this computer gizmo called the Resonator that stimulates a dormant “sense” organ that’s somehow linked to the sex drive. Of course, the Resonator and the doc both go haywire. The result: a shimmering, tentacled, jelly-fishy beast that has the ability to change shape. The only thing it doesn’t change is its personality--which is mean.

All this comes with the standard accouterments: the plucky heroine and doc’s devoted assistant, who undergoes a slight change of appearance (too gross to repeat) and appetite--like, he suddenly craves brains .

Gag me with a spoon!