My Answer: There’s profundity in silence

Q: When we got married 40 years ago, it seems like my husband and I talked all the time about everything under the sun. But now we sometimes go for hours without saying much of anything. We still love each other very much, but has something gone wrong? — Mrs. B.R.

A: Have you ever heard the phrase “companionable silence”? This may be what you’re experiencing — the quiet delight of just being in each other’s presence, sharing your lives together and even sensing what your spouse is thinking.

The Bible says, “There is a time for everything ... a time to be silent and a time to speak” (Ecclesiastes 3:1,7).

If this describes your relationship, be grateful for it. All too often, I’ve observed, as couples grow older they sometimes tend to get irritated easily, or they grow grumpy or complaining. Instead of keeping quiet, they end up arguing, picking at each other or correcting each other. I hope this won’t ever be the case with you, and that you’ll always be on guard against it.

The Bible says, “In the multitude of words sin is not lacking, but he who restrains his lips is wise” (Proverbs 10:19, New King James Version).

Don’t misunderstand me. Communication is important in any relationship, especially marriage. Your husband needs to know what you’re thinking and feeling, and you need to know the same about him. The Bible says, “The tongue of the wise brings healing” (Proverbs 12:18).

May you take time each day to talk with each other, but most of all, to talk together with God. God loves you and gave you each other as husband and wife, and someday you’ll stand together in his presence if you know Christ. In the meantime, discover the joy of coming together into his presence every day through prayer.

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Q: I’ve heard people talk about knowing God personally, but what does that mean? I believe in God and try to live a good life, but when I think of God, I imagine him being way up there, not someone near me. — Mrs. P.R.

A: One of life’s greatest truths is that we can come to know God in a personal way. God doesn’t just want us to know about him. He wants us to know him personally. Jesus said, “This is eternal life: that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent” (John 17:3).

Think of it this way. I notice from your letter that you are married. At one time, you’d probably only heard about the man who eventually became your husband. Then you met him, and over time you got to know him personally — and finally you committed yourselves to each other as you took your marriage vows and became husband and wife. Now you no longer know about him — you actually know him in a deeply personal way.

The same is true with God. Right now, you only know about him. But God loves you and wants you to get to know him and commit your life to him. And when you do, you’ll know him personally, because he will come to live within you by his spirit.

By a simple prayer of faith turn to Christ, confessing your sins and asking him to come into your life. Then thank him that you now belong to him, and he is with you every day. God’s promise is for you: Nothing “in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:39).

(Send your queries to “My Answer,” c/o Billy Graham, Billy Graham Evangelistic Assn., 1 Billy Graham Parkway, Charlotte, N.C., 28201; call 1-(877) 2-GRAHAM; or visit https://www.billygraham.org.)