Fitness Files: One woman’s advice on reaching 100

My mom, who died at 98, would have been 100 this July. I miss her and cherish time with her friend, Miriam. Their friendship originated at Le Conte Junior High and continued through Hollywood High and UCLA.

Now approaching 100, Miriam lives in an art-filled L.A. bungalow, attends the opera and hosts yearly poetry readings.

Recently, I sent Miriam some of my past “Fitness Files.” She wrote back:

“I preferred your daily musings [in previous articles]…At least your fitness articles aren’t preachy, but my negative is that I dislike fitness…diets, prohibitions.”

Then she explained that the only nutritional advice she’d ever handed out was recommending her doctor drink scotch.

Anyone living to 100 would want to be like Miriam: independent, authentically herself, master of her domain.

Best-sellers search out centenarians the world over. What’s the reason for Miriam’s autonomy and good health?

Don’t look to genetics. Miriam’s close relatives were not long-lived. Exercise? Never walked around the block. Diet? Vitamins and vegetable are a bore.

However, Miriam lives a life of moderation and of passion. She likes her scotch, one shot. She cooks herself chicken and chops, small portions. She enjoys her own company, but dresses beautifully and gathers friends at the best steakhouse in L.A.

When she had pneumonia, she hunkered down in her house with the New York Times and her favorite poetry books and read herself back to health. She accepted assistance from friends and neighbors, but when her closest friend decided she needed a full-time caregiver, Miriam kicked her out along with the help.

Miriam explained her friend’s mistake: challenging her independence. “I told her I wasn’t afraid to die alone in my house,” said Miriam in a fit of pique.

Yet, on another occasion, Miriam hired a nurse to assist her through recovery after hernia surgery. She explained, “This nurse treats me like a person, not patronizing.”

Courage is Miriam’s outstanding quality.

She’s lost her closest relatives, including the love of her life. She mourns them by sharing their stories. She does not wallow in grief. Her friends delight her. When they irritate, she leaves them behind until she cools off, and then picks up the friendship later. She takes direction from a trusted doctor who respects her outlook. She doesn’t want to be sent to a bunch of specialists.

Miriam is an exemplar of the advice given by University of Minnesota’s Dr. James Pacala, president of the American Geriatrics Society: “Refuse to take it slow. There’s a sort of societal expectation that you’re supposed to slow down as you get old, and I think you should fight against that.”

Shortly before we lost my mom, Miriam hired a limo for a last visit. Over a scotch she told my mom, “It’s not stamina that makes someone young. It’s the willingness to do something different. We’re old — that’s not a definition of who we are. Of course we’re old. That’s our claim to fame.”

Courage, natural moderation, lively interest in the world: one recipe for living to 100.

Newport Beach resident CARRIE LUGER SLAYBACK is a retired teacher who ran the Los Angeles Marathon at age 70, winning first place in her age group. Her blog is [email protected].