The College Conversation:

When discussing a student’s academic and testing schedule, it’s a fairly straightforward process. When we change the conversation to a discussion of extracurricular activities, things get a bit more muddled. Students and parents are often confused about what colleges expect students to participate in outside of the classroom and what “looks best.” What weight do athletics hold in the admissions process? What about leadership? Volunteerism?

It’s really important to stop thinking about how a certain activity will be perceived in college admissions. Instead, expose your child to a variety of activities and, ultimately, encourage consistent, passionate and dedicated involvement. Help them figure out what activities make them feel good and the areas in which they excel.

It’s not about grooming your child for varsity college athletics or tallying the hours spent doing community service. It’s not about forcing your child to continue an activity he’s been involved in since the age of 3, if he really wants to quit. It’s certainly not about filling empty hours with meaningless activities. This type of strategizing creates an over-involved, over-extended over-achiever.

As student applications are reviewed, colleges examine a student’s extracurricular profile through the lens of what they want that freshman class to look like. They want students who’ve shown they are passionate about a healthy activity that illustrates commitment, initiative, responsibility and passion.

How a high school student spends time outside of the classroom is closely evaluated. In college, the time a student spends outside of the classroom is far greater than the time they spend inside. What colleges don’t want are students who have too much idle time on their hands.

They ask themselves: “How will this applicant contribute to our academic and social environment?”

With most college applications, students must submit an extracurricular resume. They will be asked to list their top seven extracurricular activities, including athletics, leadership experience, club participation, community service, employment, hobbies and special interests. Some applications require students to rank these activities in order of importance. Most will require students to explain the extracurricular activity that’s meant the most to them and why.

It’s easy for students to write a paragraph about their die-hard involvement in water polo, but consider how many others write about their athletic passion — that injury that almost destroyed their athletic career, or the winning goal that made the crowd go nuts. This is when it becomes vitally important that a student illustrates involvement in something other than athletics. Such a small percentage of high school athletes go on to play at the college level. So, if your child isn’t going to play ball at the college level, how else will he contribute to that college community?

When I speak with students, I start the conversation about extracurricular involvement by asking, “What do you care about?”

Surprisingly, more and more the response I hear is, “What do you mean?”

The more we focus on what looks best to colleges, the less of a chance students will have to really identify what matters to them. Even with the inclusion of community service requirements at the high school level, students often see it as just that — one more thing they have to do. They spend their time counting service hours instead of really getting behind a specific cause.

It is our job to help students get and feel connected to something outside their teenage world. Opportunities abound for students to show their initiative, commitment, creativity, and really make a difference in someone else’s life. It’s not about encouraging your child to build a house one weekend and plant trees the next. It’s about encouraging them to connect more to themselves, the people around them and the greater community. Some of the best college essays are about the relationships students forge with those in need. These stories are certainly more powerful than describing what it was like to kick that last winning goal.

Encouraging this type of extracurricular involvement, where students put others before themselves and gain some perspective, is not just great for teenagers; it also looks really good on college applications.

LISA MCLAUGHLIN is the founder and executive director of EDvantage Consulting Inc., an independent college admission counseling firm in South Orange County. Send questions to [email protected].