The Bell Curve:

This has been a week to look back at Christmas and the coming of a new year, and sort out the moments that made it memorable and wallow in them once more, before turning them loose to be called on whenever a lift in spirits is needed. The usual stress that so often accompanies this holiday week was thus set aside to join the tired tree cast out with other forgettable shards of Christmas past.

In an earlier column, I rejoiced over the coming together of my scattered family for the first time in many years, but there is one unexpected member who needs to be added to that list. His name is Ebbe. He was adopted into my family in 1965 as a foreign exchange student from Denmark, who came to us through the American Field Service. In the interim years, he has become a world traveler, many times over, as a senior vice president of that organization, now known as the AFS Intercultural Programs. He was here to attend a convention the first week in January, so we brought him home for the better part of a week.

The first bit of business was reviving old memories. At the top of the list was always Ebbe’s encounter with Ronald Reagan’s entrance into politics as a candidate for governor of California. I was covering the election for the Christian Science Monitor and took Ebbe with me to a Reagan rally at a local senior center.

The place was packed and Reagan was very late, so the delay was being filled by a very tough public school music teacher. We were sitting about three feet from the platform, and it annoyed this lady that Ebbe wasn’t taking part in the singing. So the battle of wills worsened as Reagan was later and later.

It finally ended with a threat by the teacher to call Ebbe — who was not a Reagan admirer — up to the stage if he continued to refuse to sing, a prospect so unpleasant that, Ebbe conceded, sort of. It was the only time I ever saw him lose a battle of wills.

He was a fine student at Corona del Mar High School, with a knowledge of American history superior to any of the local students and an abiding curiosity about the society he was visiting. Meanwhile, we were learning about such curious habits as eating cheese for breakfast in his society. All this was the beginning of a long relationship between the two families that resulted in several more exchanges of young people and lifelong friends.

Our most recent encounter provided the first opportunity in many years for leisurely talk about his work. When I asked him to explain it, he said: “The world is becoming a smaller place and more global, both for opportunities and problems. We are all very different, which complicates benefiting from the opportunities and arriving at solutions to the global problems.

“A remedy for this is a constant effort to know where people are coming from. Only by understanding one another can we learn how to better navigate the differences and make them a source of strength rather than conflict. Sure, it’s all easier said than done. But what is the alternative? I think I’ve learned the importance of these navigational skills.”

How is that possible given the hostility in the world today?

“That’s what an international exchange program like AFS is all about. By understanding others, we can gain a better perspective and understanding of ourselves. Not that we all have to be the same or agree about everything. Only that a better understanding will allow for a more healthy conversation about the real issues instead of misunderstandings with ourselves as well as others.

“And, once again, that’s me. That’s what I have learned, the importance of navigating among all these countries and cultures, promoting understanding so we can tackle the multiple challenges confronting us.”

In the near future, Ebbe will be going back to India in pursuit of these goals. We hope he’ll be passing through the nation of Newport-Mesa for another session with the home folks when that happens.

A dose of intelligent navigation would be helpful in these parts, too.

JOSEPH N. BELL lives in Newport Beach. His column runs Thursdays.