WHAT’S SO FUNNY: Fooled by a perceived drama king

When I was a kid I used to fake being sick in hopes that I wouldn’t have to go to school. Later on, in college, I became too proud to malinger and just stopped going to class — a more forthright attitude, you’ll agree.

However, having been a fake, I’m quick to suspect fakery in others. I call this being a good judge of character.

When our Welsh Springer spaniel Booker holds up his right forepaw and hobbles like Lassie on a long journey home, we look for a burr or one of those corkscrew thorns whose role in nature’s great pageant is to torture animals.

But when we can’t find a burr or thorn, and there’s no inflammation, and he still limps and holds up his paw in imitation of the great canine actors, I begin to suspect I’m in the presence of a drama king looking for sympathy biscuits.

Booker started limping the night before our scheduled one-week vacation to Cape May, N.J. He had some pinkness between his toes and a puncture mark with nothing inside it. Despite some guilt feelings, we took off anyway, leaving him next door and asking our neighbor Elaine Marcus to watch him.

Patti Jo remained in phone contact, and at first she heard conflicting reports. He was still hobbling and didn’t want to go on walks, but he would occasionally walk without limping. This is typical of amateur actors who sometimes forget their character traits.

Patti Jo and Elaine decided the way to be sure was to take Booker to Canyon Animal Hospital — a decision Booker would not have concurred with if consulted, because he gets scared at the doctor’s office. But Elaine, who was now getting an idea of what it means when we ask someone to “watch” our pet, took him in.

And the diagnosis was ... well, you’ve probably already guessed it. And you’re probably as wrong as I was.

It’s arthritis. Or something very close to it: soft-tissue inflammation requiring medication three times a day — lucky Elaine — and no exercise until we get back. Kind of a raw deal for a dog who’s only five years old, but it’s apparently treatable.

Of course, it’s also a raw deal for a dog to have an owner who doesn’t believe him when he says his paw hurts.

When I get home I owe him an apology. And some sympathy biscuits.

SHERWOOD KIRALY is a Laguna Beach resident. He has written four novels, three of which were critically acclaimed.