Makeover that helps others

When Norma Jean looks in the mirror, she no longer sees the face that got punched.

The Costa Mesa actress and comedienne received a “10 Years Younger” makeover on the TLC cable program last year to erase the emotional scars of abuse. The episode airs Wednesday. But the pain inside will never heal, she said, and the eyes that got “double-lifted” still cry the same tears.

It’s a fine line between tragedy and comedy, but what you do with your experiences are what define you, said Norma Jean, who goes by her first name. What she wants to do is help other women who may not know how to help themselves.

Her hope, once the show airs, is that people from high schools, colleges and women’s groups will call to invite her to come and speak about what she’s been through as a battered woman.

“I’ve got to help people,” said Norma Jean, 41. “Even at colleges, there’s an alarming rate of violence. It’s important for girls to hear that they need to protect themselves. No one told me this stuff when I was growing up. I thought love was dysfunctional, and it’s not.”

Norma Jean grew up in Watertown, N.Y. Her parents divorced when she was an infant, and her mother received shock treatments for what was diagnosed as postpartum depression. Her mother remarried and had another child, but turned the responsibility of caring for him over to Norma Jean, then 8 years old. She was a talented little girl, channeling her energy into ballet, jazz and tap dancing, playing the flute, the clarinet and the piano, ice skating with the U.S. Figure Skating Assn., and getting involved in community theater.

At 17, Norma Jean was physically abused by her teenaged boyfriend, who was also sleeping with her mother. When Norma Jean’s relationship with her abusive boyfriend ended, she married her first husband, who was also physically abusive. She had a son with him, divorced him soon after, then married and got pregnant again. When her second husband began abusing her, she threw him out, and by the age of 27, was a single mother with two young boys.

She went back to college and won the Wall Street Journal Award for Outstanding Business Student, then got her degree in business management. She worked for a while in corporate America, before heading out to California in 2004 to pursue her lifelong dream of becoming famous, like the actress (Marilyn Monroe) for whom she is named.

But how did this Norma Jean not succumb to being a victim?

Her grandmother encouraged Norma Jean to sing during summers spent at her New Jersey home as a young girl. But it was Barbra Streisand who inspired her the most.

Streisand had it all and did it all. She wrote, sang, acted, produced, directed and won every major Hollywood award. She also gave an overburdened, sad child a way to sing her way out of the rut that was her life.

“The song, ‘People,’ had such a powerful message, and I never understood it until I was older. There’s something about her music that captures you and gets you through the worst of times,” Norma Jean said.

The worst of times appear to be over for the struggling self-starter. After moving to Costa Mesa four years ago, Norma Jean got serious about her acting career, appearing at local comedy clubs while she made guest appearances on popular television shows, including “Grey’s Anatomy” and “Boston Legal,” and doing background parts in movies in an attempt to earn a “golden ticket” — membership in the Screen Actors Guild.

Today, she has her own theater production company. Her latest project is a variety show just like that of another of her idols, Carol Burnett, that she produces monthly for community venues. She also has a show in the works, “Comedy Assault on Battery,” which will benefit victims of domestic violence, and is hoping to bring it to the Irvine Improv soon.

Bill Word remembers booking Norma Jean’s comedy act at Martini Blues in Huntington Beach when she first moved to Costa Mesa, and has worked with her many times since then. He said he’s impressed by her energy and determination, but what he really appreciates about his friend is her passion.

“I think she’s wonderful. She’s been able to turn her difficulties to her advantage, and use it productively. It would be easy for her to lay back and be a victim, instead, she’s an inspiration to a lot of people,” Word said.

He also thinks she looks great since her makeover.

“She’s much more confident, and she’s smiling a lot more,” Word said.

Norma Jean would tell you that’s because of her new veneers. She’s got a big smile since having her top teeth fixed, along with the eye lift, some chin reconstruction and Botox injections, all courtesy of the “10 Years Younger” producers.

Though the show gave her a new face, for Norma Jean the best thing the show gave her was a voice. She’s able to broadcast it to a large national audience, but says even if she only reaches one person, it will be worth it.

“This whole domestic violence thing is a vicious circle with people. If there’s anything I want, it’s for people to wake up to domestic violence,” she said. “If you hear your neighbor screaming, by God, call the police. Don’t let someone go through what I did.”

To see Norma Jean on “10 Years Younger,” tune into TLC at 1 p.m. Wednesday. People can visit Norma Jean at www.allthingsnormajean.com

SUE THOENSEN may be reached at (714) 966-4627 or at [email protected].