KIDS THESE DAYS:

If you Google “kids are scared of clowns,” you will find several links to a study done in England and reported last month.

The study showed that contrary to popular belief, many kids are afraid of clowns.

Many adults are also afraid of clowns.

But what made me laugh harder than the images of the clowns (I am not scared of them, you see), were the “tower” ads on the Google page, the ones listed to the right of the results.

Of the three ads, the first two were links to companies providing clowns for kid’s parties.

Just about anything you can afford is available these days for a child’s birthday party.

In some sections of Newport-Mesa, elaborate child parties are not unusual. And while those parties may seem to the rest of us that the parents are engaging in a one-upmanship exercise with friends and neighbors, I could make the strong case that there is nothing wrong with a junior circus at the home of someone who can afford it.

Over the years, I have cared less about the elaborate tyke parties. I believe that if the parents made their money honestly and paid their taxes, that they could spend it any legal way they wish.

Then, last week, I got invited to a birthday party for the 12-year-old daughter of Terry Ickowicz, a friend I’ve known since the fourth grade.

Over the years, Terry and I have experienced many highs and lows together. One of the highest highs was becoming a parent.

Terry is at a station in life when he can afford to have a clown or a bounce house, or both, at his daughter Ashley’s birthday party.

When the invitation came, however, there was the following note: “Ashley has requested that in lieu of any gifts that you consider making a tax deductible donation to the girl’s camp that Ashley supports in honor of her late grandfather, Wolf Ickowicz.

“The organization provides a wonderful summer camp experience each year for children whose parents cannot otherwise afford to send their children to summer camp.”

What stood out were the words “Ashley has requested.” So I called Terry to ask him if in fact a 12-year-old girl had really made that request or whether her parents decided that the donations were a good thing to do.

“When Ashley was around 7 years old,” Terry said, “she went to a local summer camp that had a ‘tzedakah box’ near the entrance and each day I would give her a quarter to put in the box” (a tzedakah box is used to collect coins for the purpose of giving back, or more exactly, for the repair of the world).

“The money for this box went to support a summer camp for girls who could not afford it.

“One day I dropped her off and as I was leaving, she came running out in tears. She told me that I had forgotten to give her the quarter for the tzedakah box.

“Now it’s several years later and when it came time to plan this birthday, I told Ashley that everyone was calling me asking what to get her for her birthday. Ashley knows that she is blessed and that her mom and dad provide for her.

“So I suggested to her that this year instead of gifts that she think about asking guests to make a donation to the camp in her name and the memory of her grandfather.

“She said, ‘Daddy I don’t have to think about it for a minute. Make all the donations in his name.’”

I will gladly make a donation to the camp and Ashley should be proud of her decision. But I have to say that I was looking forward to showing everyone I am not afraid of clowns.

STEVE SMITH is a Costa Mesa resident and a freelance writer. Send story ideas to [email protected].