REEL CRITICS:

“Mad Money” brings Diane Keaton, Queen Latifah and Katie Holmes together as an unlikely trio of thieves in this mostly silly caper flick. Unusual circumstances bring these three women together from very diverse lifestyles. They somehow all end up as low level employees of the Federal Reserve Depository in Kansas City. They conspire to pull off a heist of tattered old paper money destined for the shredder.

The outlandish scheme to steal cash from a seemingly impregnable fortress makes this story a female version of “Oceans 11.” But there’s no super cool vibe or sharp wit to give a lift to the predictable tale. The developments are improbable and strain every ounce of credibility from the plot.

There is some decent acting by Diane Keaton in this flawed story. But all the roles in this screenplay require no more than a low key effort from anybody. The whole enterprise is formula-driven and humdrum. Wait for the video.

Action film stomps and horror film chomps

This weekend’s new releases produced a great double dose of horror:

In “Cloverfield” there’s something big stomping and chomping its way through Manhattan, smashing buildings and decapitating the Statue of Liberty. Worst of all, it breaks up the going-away party for Rob (Michael Stahl-David), whose promotion is taking him to Japan.

Suckered into videotaping the party, his friend Hud keeps the camera rolling as guests run screaming into the streets.

The movie title is ostensibly the Army’s code name for the incident, and we are viewing film from Rob’s camera found in an area “formerly known as Central Park.”

Combining the immediacy of “The Blair Witch Project” with the familiar “Godzilla,” what keeps “Cloverfield” fresh is the attractive cast of unknowns and the fact that we never really get a good look at the monster or know where it came from.

The monster-cam gimmick is tough on the eyeballs, but produces some genuinely anxious and hair-raising moments.

“Teeth” is even scarier, if cruder, fun. In a perverse twist on the teen slasher flick, a virtuous high schooler learns she has an extra set of choppers in her nether regions.

This is discovered by her doctor and some very unfortunate young men, with so-ludicrous-it’s-funny results. Talk about setting a man trap — ouch!

Jess Weixler, who won an acting prize at Sundance last year for her starring role, goes from demure to vixen to mutant avenger with poise and humor.

As with “Cloverfield,” no explanation is sought or given for her anatomical anomaly. But perhaps it has something to do with the twin nuclear reactors belching smoke over her back yard

“Teeth” is certainly not for the squeamish, but for everyone else it’s sure to be a cult favorite.

SUSANNE PEREZ lives in Costa Mesa and is an executive assistant for a financial services company. JOHN DEPKO is a Costa Mesa resident and a senior investigator for the Orange County public defender’s office.