WHAT’S SO FUNNY: Lose any pound you want

In late November I learned that I’d be going to the Sundance Film Festival, where I’d be seeing some people I worked with last spring. I’d put on a few pounds since the spring, and I thought I should shed them before seeing these people again.

There were a couple of reasons for this. I figured if I got my picture taken near someone famous I should try to look thin. Also, many of the people I’d worked with in the spring were guys. Women, upon meeting a friend after a long absence, are usually too tactful to say, “Hey, you got fat,” but men sing right out about it, and it hurts.

All through December I exercised on a Health Rider, every day but one. I also did push-ups and sit-ups. I also ate differently, initiating what I call the New Kiraly Diet — “New” because it’s new and “Kiraly” because I don’t think it will ever be anyone else’s.

I feel this way despite the fact that I can guarantee results with the New Kiraly Diet. I am confident in saying that if you do what I did, you too can lose one pound in seven weeks.

And keep it off. I lost that pound in the first two weeks, and five weeks later I still weighed one pound less than I had in November.

My secret is exercise and discipline.

I eat less — sometimes just one meal a day — but I only eat food I like. For instance, rib-eye steak, or chicken thighs rolled in flour, which I fry and then bake. They’re delish. My theory is that when you’re on a more healthful diet, life loses most of its value, so you should at least have a few happy moments a day.

Anyway, I ate my thighs and exercised, and that pound just melted away.

Now I’ll admit I wanted to lose more than a pound, and if you want to lose more than a pound, the New Kiraly Diet won’t work. By the time I realized this, it was too late for someone else’s diet to do me much good. I was pretty mad.

Fortunately, last week I got sick and lost my appetite. It might have been anxiety. It might have been all that dieting. In any case, after a few days I’d shaved off three more pounds and was nearing my target weight.

It reminded me of the days when I smoked. Back then I used to get sick a lot. Whenever I put on weight I got sick and lost it. That was the Old Kiraly Diet: sickness.

So there you have it. Jenny Craig might not espouse a method based on one or two big fat meals a day for seven weeks followed by a four-day illness, but next time you’re searching around for a weight-loss alternative, don’t forget the New Old Kiraly Diet. It got me there.