FAIR GAME:

Single, young, inexperienced female, looking for a fun and committed short-term relationship.

Loves sports, especially ball games. When not busy, you can find her lying in the backyard, enjoying the sun. Always up for an occasional swim.

Ideal partner would have large brown eyes and a sturdy build; big ears and nose not a problem; red or golden hair preferred.

And so, if you haven’t figured it out yet, the Johnson family has decided to breed our dog. Her name is Sophie.

Sophie is the fourth golden retriever in the Johnson family. First was Burgess, a great old male who lived to the ripe old age of 14.

For those counting, I believe that’s about 98 in dog years.

Dog 2 was Megan. The family came across her after a photo ran in our paper showing a four-month-old puppy in a local shelter in desperate need of two new hips. We went by the shelter to make a donation, but ended up bringing her home instead. Two new hips later, we had a great dog. She lived to be 12.

Vera resides as the old golden of the yard. She’s approaching 13 and doing quite well. A year-and-a-half ago we added Sophie. We think she’s really cute and has a very engaging personality.

In fact, she’s the only one in my household, wife and daughters included, that greets me at the door at the end of a long day.

And so, it’ll be our first — and only — time to breed a dog.

A lot of people would argue to not breed and let people adopt the many animals already available. And that’s a great point.

But, selfishly, we want to do it just once. The two daughters are extremely excited. They have promised a whole bunch of help, but, in all honesty, we all know that will disappear once the mess arrives. It’s funny how that works and what suckers parents are to fall for it.

Anyway, here’s the deal. If you have a golden retriever that is in excellent health, clean hips, papers, etc., post a picture or pictures on dailypilot.com.

Next month, the judge, my wife, will select a couple of finalists for a meeting in the park. From there, we’ll help Sophie select Mr. Right. And then, hopefully this spring when the time is right and love is in the air, the encounter will take place. Nine weeks, or 63 days later, hopefully a bunch of healthy puppies will be born. Then, about six weeks later, it will be our goal to find great homes for each of them.

And just so we’re clear, any money made on the sale of the puppies will be donated to the Orange County Humane Society in Huntington Beach ( www.rescue-a-pet.com or www.ochumanesociety.petfinder.com).

Something tells me, this is not going to be as much fun as it sounds. We’ll report back.

TOM JOHNSON is the publisher. Readers may leave a message for him on the Daily Pilot hotline at (714) 966-4664 or send story ideas to [email protected]. TOM JOHNSON is the publisher. Readers may leave a message for him on the Daily Pilot hotline at (714) 966-4664 or send story ideas to [email protected].