CHASING DOWN THE MUSE: Standing at the edge of a new year

I am the heron poised at the edge of the estuary. Just as the heron readies itself to lift off, to pounce on each new discovery, so I too am ready for new adventure, new creative life at this juncture of old and new.

As the new year arrives, I like taking a break, allowing myself space to look back over the changes of the previous year and ahead to those changes that may be coming. It is a time when I try to set things into play that will influence the future.

Often in the past few years this time of year found us camping in the sand of some distant shore. We have been there with the herons and curlews and the occasional kingfisher. Waking in the sand to the sound of the birds, walking the shoreline the entire day, snuggling deep into sleeping bags as the waves lap the shore and stars fill the night sky. These things have served well as a transition into the upcoming fallow wintertime of year.

Being in nature just has a way of allowing for tuning in in ways that are difficult in the daily bustle of life. I miss the camping days this year, but seek to hold on to the introspection and possibility thinking that accompanied those days. I hope to find nearby waters to sit beside, neighborhood foraging sites.

The year just passed brought with it many changes. In the small world in which I revolve, we were caught up in moving my in-laws, wrangling with legal affairs, selling property, moving on. Our oldest daughter and her family returned to Southern California after living in New York for two years; a new baby was born.

There were new jobs, new homes and new outlooks. Life moved on. Friends got together and shared life experiences. Many of us found ourselves operating sandwiched between generations, providing time and assistance to those both above and below us, struggling to make sure we cared for ourselves just as well.

Transitioning into the new year, there is hope that something has been learned from all this, that the experiences of 2007 and the years previous can be put to good use, the past built upon for an even better future. It is a time when new ideas, new directions, shifts in perspective seem to take place.

It is a time to which I look forward each year with great joy and some trepidation as I ready to make the stretches and to embrace the new. It is largely a time of choosing. The upcoming “fallow” time with its shorter, cooler days, while in many ways restful, will hold a great deal of exploration as I research, study, experiment, absorb and otherwise seek some possible answers. It will be a quest, perhaps, but like the heron’s, a silent, intent, focused one.

I generally travel through life at an easy, perfectly happy pace. But not always. I am an optimist, but I can be disappointingly dark on occasion. I have been told that I show great patience with people where others would only feel frustration. On the other hand, I can fly off when pushed. When things are dark, I try to find bright and light “” most of the time.

I am tolerant and adaptive, though sometimes intransigent and unbending. I seek joy and sometimes know deep sorrow. The contradictions are the very stuff of life itself. I am finding my way. I do not have all the answers, though sometimes I enjoy a wonderful moment of “aha” that thrills me straight to the core.

I just keep tinkering, foraging, experimenting, reading and hoping. The process is as much of a passionate thing for me as the very drive to be in it.

What I hope for is the insight to achieve the intimacy and the meaning in my art and my life. In art this will be about mixing media, discovering new ways to do things, challenging my own definitions, losing limitations, adventuring, exploring and curiosity, and refining both old and new skills. There will be moments of impatience, frustration, intolerance, intransigence and discontent as I struggle with the process.

I can only hope the multitude of feelings and experience “” the contradictions themselves, and the waiting “” will result in growth and expansion and breathe new life into my work. I will be poised at the ready for the possibilities to come “” like the heron.

CHERRIL DOTY is an artist, writer, and creative coach exploring and enjoying the many mysteries of life in the moment. She can be reached by e-mail at [email protected] or by phone at (949) 251-3883.