COMMENTS & CURIOSITIES:

Don’t miss it. This could be your chance. If you’ve ever wanted to be a paparazzo, the new “Pilot Paparazzi” gallery is calling your name.

Anyone who knows which end of the camera to look through can snap a pic of any event in Newport-Mesa land and post it at www.dailypilot.com/gallery or e-mail it to [email protected] for all the world to see, sort of.

Let’s face it. We all have our fantasies. For some people it’s being famous, for some it’s being an astronaut, for some, it’s toes. Doesn’t matter. But if you’ve ever imagined yourself hanging out at the side entrance of the Beverly Hills Hotel or The Ivy, shooting the breeze with 12 other tabloid shooters while Keira Knightley finishes her tiramisu, this is your time.

What you shoot is your call. Fiftieth anniversaries are nice, baby pictures are fun, but if you can come up with a shot of a major developer from Emerald Bay doing Eartha Kitt’s “Santa Baby” in an elf costume at his company Christmas party, I guarantee you will zoom to the top of the list.

By the way, let’s get the name out of the way. People often ask me, an Italian, what paparazzi (plural) or paparazzo (singular) means, other than celebrity-stalking photographer.

The short answer is that it’s Italian slang, but the long answer is more interesting, assuming you use a loose definition of interesting.

It all started with a film that was a rite of passage for men my age, most of whom are deceased — “La Dolce Vita” — Federico Fellini’s 1960 classic about life, love and decadence on a long summer’s night in Rome, with Marcello Mastroianni and Anita Ekberg.

When Ekberg took off her heels and danced in the fountain — purring “Marcello!” and begging him to join her — more than one teenaged male needed smelling salts or CPR or both.

None of us were even supposed to be there, since the Catholic “Legion of Decency” had condemned the film, which of course guaranteed that every altar boy from The Bronx to Bensonhurst would see it, twice, at least.

Ironically, another legacy of La Dolce Vita was the name of a relatively minor character, which would become a household word. Marcello Mastroianni, Marcello Rubini in the film, was a gossip columnist who worked with a totally obnoxious photographer who would do the most shameless things imaginable to get the shot they wanted.

An Italian actor named Walter Santesso played the photographer, but his character’s name — was “Paparazzo.”

From that day forward, obnoxious and shameless celebrity photographers would be called “paparazzi.” What does it mean?

In the regional dialect spoken near Rimini, where Fellini grew up, “paparazzo” meant mosquito, but it was also a nickname for someone who is wired and nervous and flits around like a hummingbird that just downed a double espresso.

So much for terminology. Let’s get on to the pix. My mouse and I went to the Pilot Paparazzi gallery and found some things we expected and some we did not.

If you’re looking for the cover shot of the next Enquirer, don’t stop looking. But there are some interesting pix and of course, for my taste, the quirkier the better.

The bell-ringer is a skateboarder at a Vans promotional event with the million-dollar name of “Ted Shred.” The Shredder is in wrap-around sunglasses and a very cool white jumpsuit — kind of a cross between Elvis and Woody Allen in “Sleeper.” It’s a little scary actually.

According to the caption, Ted Shred is a “ famed downhill skateboarder (broke 45 mph record down Spyglass Hill in 1982).” I missed the record-breaking run, but it sounds fast.

There is a group shot from an “Annual Gingerbread House Decorating Party,” which is very festive.

The people are unidentified but everyone looks like they’re having fun and the gingerbread houses are impressive.

There are event pics from a “celebrity chef” SOS benefit with John and Karen McGlinn and a boatload of local food gurus, including Michael Kang, Alan Greeley, Chris Garnier, Louie Jocson, Jason Pena, Scott Floyd and Laurent Brazier. He’s a chef, and his name is Brazier? May we see a birth certificate please?

There are other links — “Your Favorite Vacation Pics,” “Your Favorite Local Shots” and “Your Favorite Pet Shots,” which are always cute. There is a beagle identified only as “Happy Dog” and a sheep dog named Hairy who has a serious case of bed head. There’s even a shot of a sea lion perched on a surfboard if you like your pinnipeds with a sense of fun.

That’s about it. But don’t live through the lives of others. Dust off that camera and catch someone doing something funny, cute, weird or ideally, indictable. Next time you’re in the checkout line, that could be your shot on the cover of the Enquirer. Stranger things have happened you know. I gotta go.

PETER BUFFA is a former Costa Mesa mayor. His column runs Sundays. He may be reached at [email protected].