COMMENTS & CURIOSITIES:Playing the name game

Ever had a stadium named after you? I haven’t. Of course with my last name, that shouldn’t surprise anyone. As you know, it is now illegal to have a stadium that does not have a company’s name attached to it — Staples Center in L.A., Honda Center in Anaheim (not that anyone calls it that), Safeco Park in Seattle, Petco Park in San Diego, et cetera and so on.

There are thousands of them, and they’re impossible to keep track of because the names change every 18 months. Do you know where the Denver Broncos play? Did you say Mile High Stadium? Nope.

It’s gonzo. The Broncos now play at “Invesco Field.” Do you know who or what Invesco is? Neither did I. It’s an investment management company. Given my assets, that explains why I’ve never heard of them.

Actually, “named after,” which implies a tribute of some kind, is a misnomer. Tribute had nothing to do with how those places got their names. It was a simple matter of cold, hard cash. It’s called naming rights, and it’s big business. That’s because big companies will write very large checks with lots of zeros to have a big arena named after them.

It’s a fact of modern life that is not lost on the Costa Mesa Bark Park Foundation. Those are the people who support, nurture and generally look after the Costa Mesa Bark Park, which is where the doggy denizens of Newport-Mesa gather to see and be seen, chase and be chased, meet, greet and be occasionally indiscreet.

Bark parks are enormously popular with dogs and their humans, but having a special place where a dog can do what dog has to do and laugh and scratch and run free isn’t, well, free.

Last Tuesday, the Costa Mesa City Council decided to let the Bark Park Foundation sniff out some sponsors after which either the whole place can be named, or parts of it, like benches and trees. I’m not sure how that last part will work.

Would you have a Burberry bench? A Toyota tree? I don’t get it. In any case, the green light on naming rights is something of a change for the Costa Mesa council.

Until now, advertising or sponsorships in public parks were verboten, which is German for prohibido, with one exception — Volcom Skate Park, which ironically is next door to the Bark Park. Once the Bark Park Foundation develops a sponsorship program, it will go back to the City Council for a thumbs-up or down vote.

The Bark Park Foundation seems to be an energetic group, complete with a high-end website where you can keep up with current events at the pooch park and see photos of recent guests of both species.

You can even buy Costa Mesa Bark Park shirts and hats in the Bark Boutique. Some interesting Bark Park trivia: In the summer, up to 200 dogs an hour show up at the park to do whatever it is dogs do in the summer, which I suspect is not that different than in the winter.

I’m not sure I want to be in a fenced-in area with 200 dogs regardless of the season, but if the dogs are happy and the non-dogs are happy, I say live your dream.

If the foundation is going to look for sponsors, I have a few ideas. Dog-related products are a natural: Purina Park, Iams Alley, Sergeant’s Liquid Wormer for Dogs Bark Park, etc. But don’t ignore the less obvious dog connections: Windows ME Bark Park; Howard the Duck Bark Park; Bewitched the Remake Bark Park.

Personally, I think you should look for a sponsor to underwrite the whole thing. Putting a company or a person’s name on a tree or a bench in a park is one thing. Putting it on a tree or a bench in a bark park is a different story, especially with male dogs running around.

Having that happen to your nameplate is bad enough without having to pay for it. Maybe you could find someone who is a big fan of a famous dog. They might write a check for Lassie Park or Eddie Park, Scooby Doo Park maybe, Spuds MacKenzie Park if it’s a football fan.

If it’s an older person, try Asta Park or Petey Park. By the way, the feisty wire-haired terrier known as Asta in the “Thin Man” films was the same dog known as Skippy in the first two “Topper” films.

And if anyone is still watching “The Little Rascals” on cable, the ring around Petey’s eye was penciled on. If you watch closely, it will change from one eye to the other and back again from one episode to the next.

At any rate, interesting concept, I hope it works, and I say two paws up for the Costa Mesa Bark Park Foundation. And that is all I have to tell you about dogs, barking, parking and names, more or less. Woof.

I gotta go.