WHAT’S SO FUNNY:The return of Fithers

My daughter got an idea the other day that was inspired, flattering and a little scary.

Katie is a senior at Laguna Beach High School, and she and her boyfriend Danny were planning to go to the Winter Formal, to be held at the Westin South Coast Plaza Hotel.

There are two impressive ways to go to a winter formal. One is to go in a vehicle that really looks good and the other is to go in a vehicle that really doesn’t.

Most families, it seemed, were hiring limousines, but it was Katie’s idea to go to the dance in a Dodge Sport Caravan that we got when she was about 5 years old and later gave to my mother-in-law.

Back then, Katie used to name our family vehicles, and she dubbed this minivan “Green Garden.” It had performed well for us, but that was several years ago. Now it looked like somebody might be living in it.

Katie wanted to spiff it up, paint stuff on it, and have me drive it in my old family role of “Fithers,” her chauffeur/butler.

Katie hadn’t required Fithers for a long time. She drives herself now. I realized that she was offering me a kind of farewell performance. You don’t turn down an honor like that.

It was a worrisome assignment, though, because I’d be driving Katie, Danny, her friend Jane and Jane’s date Wyndham in the modern equivalent of a buckboard pulled by a 23-year-old horse.

Katie and Jane painted flowers on Green Garden’s windows. On the back they added “Grandma’s Carriages” and “How’s My Driving?”

A good question, I thought on the big night, as I put on my shirt, tie and cloth cap. Green Garden and I hadn’t been on the road together in years. Neither of us was as spry as he used to be. I didn’t know if we’d make it.

Katie and Jane were beautiful in their dresses, and Danny and Wyndham cleaned up well. Green Garden started up and ran. The kids sat in the back and laughed and sang to Ben Folds on one of Katie’s CDs. They seemed without fear. I was extremely conscious of having the future of America in the vehicle.

I found myself thinking about the physical components of my driving. That isn’t good. The centipede fell down when he thought about how he walked.

Ben Folds helped. He’s got this song that goes, “Go ahead, you can laugh all you want/ I’ve got my philosophy.” It always soothes me.

We made it to the hotel, and the kids went in. At midnight, the other drivers and I returned and waited outside. I had the best cap. Katie took my picture when they all came out, and Jane’s sister took a picture of Green Garden. You don’t take pictures if you want to forget the whole thing, so I guess the night was a success.

Now Green Garden and Fithers are retired again. But we both lasted longer than expected.