Celebrating love isn’t reserved for couples

Just because someone may be single doesn’t mean they can’t celebrate love on Valentine’s Day — at least according to two Newport-Mesa relationship experts.

People “should not just stay home and mope around…. Even though the standard on Valentine’s Day is that it’s the day for lovers and romance and passion and relationships, that does not mean if you don’t have a significant other you cannot appreciate love for other people and love for yourself,” Newport Beach relationship expert and author Ana Weber said.

Weber said people who are not in relationships should step back and realize that spending the day or evening with any loved ones, or in some cases alone, celebrates the feeling behind the day.

“Understand what it means to be loved on the day of love,” Weber said. “It’s totally universal. It’s not necessarily just between two people in a relationship. It can be a relationship with ourselves and everyone else around us.”

Marriage and family therapist Maxine Cohen said she will have a few clients come in to her Newport Beach office today lamenting about the holiday as if they are the only ones who are alone.

“You sometimes imagine everyone else out with a loved one and just feeling wonderful about it, which isn’t the case all the time, but when you’re alone and really wanting a relationship, you can feel really sad on Valentine’s Day,” Cohen said. “Take good care of self — I would suggest they go to a spa after work and get a massage, get a facial, fill the time with something pleasant, call a girlfriend, go to a movie — you definitely don’t want to go out to dinner. Just do something that pleases you even if it isn’t your heart’s first desire.”

And while just about every restaurant, hotel and spa is offering couples packages, dinners and attractions, there is at least one place in Newport-Mesa that is welcoming all bachelors and bachelorettes. The Detroit Bar in Costa Mesa will have its annual Lonely Hearts Club night with a deejay spinning sultry tunes and the lights turned low.

Candlelight will greet guests at the bar who may want to get away from the lovers specials elsewhere.

“We just kind of give people a place to go who are either over the holiday because they don’t have anybody or just don’t care,” booking manager Chris Fahey said. “Who knows, maybe someone will share the same opinion on it, and maybe they’ll be on a proper date one night…. That way everybody’s got somewhere to go. It seems so silly that Hallmark should classify you” if you’re single on Valentine’s Day.

But make sure to focus on the love elsewhere in your life and have fun, rather than drowning your sorrows at the bottom of many cocktails, Weber and Cohen said.

“Do not drink a lot,” Cohen said. “If you’re unhappy, then do not drink a lot because alcohol is a depressant and you will feel way worse.”

Singles 21 and over can join the Lonely Hearts Club at Detroit Bar, 843 W. 19th St. in Costa Mesa.