PTA COFFEE BREAK:’M Generation’ presents new challenges for parents

Kids today live in a virtual world. It is estimated that 15 million kids are on the Internet daily. There are currently more than 123 million users registered on MySpace.com, a popular interactive Internet site. This virtual world has created a new “M Generation” of multimedia users who are very skilled in operating different gadgets simultaneously.

Much of this usage occurs in busy households, with few, if any rules. Parents and educators alike have wondered about the effects of so much stimulation on a young person’s developing brain. Nevertheless, multimedia use is here to stay.

The focus of October’s Coffee Break seminar, organized by the Laguna Beach PTA, was how parents can help kids build safe, positive relationships online and avoid predators.

Jerry Weichman, a Newport Beach clinical psychologist, pointed out both the pros and cons of online social networking. Often kids feel judged as a “book by its cover” based on their size, height, clothes, as well as association with a particular peer group.

Social acceptance is their No. 1 priority. Kids deal with their day-to-day stress and residue of hurt, pain and anger by acting out negative emotions with their parents, given the safety of doing that at home. Whereas adults can use work, substances or television as a pacifier, kids use the computer.

On the Internet, kids don’t feel immediately judged. They have access to feeling more in control with a new identity and social network. For kids who are shy, the Internet becomes a much easier way to meet and interact with people.

Kids can also catch up with many friends at once and create a “killer space” for themselves online in a matter of minutes. On the other side, kids’ brains are spinning. They are busier and distracted with less memory and ability to concentrate.

They can take different kinds of social risks in cyber-space, and become out of touch with direct social cues and interaction. So how do parents weigh both sides of this issue?

“Don’t be a disapproving other,” Weichman said. “Every past generation has felt that the new generation was going to hell.”

Specific suggestions to parents include:

Laguna Beach Police Capt. Danelle Adams also spoke. She has considerable experience with Internet predators, most noteworthy an Internet sting in Laguna that netted 13 arrests in 11 hours last February.

Her message was: “Let’s not get paranoid, but let’s get in the game. Every day, all day, we could be arresting predators.”

Parents and kids need to know who is out there. With the media attention that Laguna Beach has received, kids here can hold a kind of celebrity status, and the police can no longer protect minors within the city limits.

Det. Zach Martinez provided a live, real-time demonstration to parents of MySpace.com, logging in as a person who was interested in meeting 12- to 16-year-old kids in our 92651 zip code. He pulled up photos of Laguna Beach kids in that age group with accounts on MySpace and advised that any time a photo goes on MySpace, it becomes public property, independent of specific “friends lists” or other privacy measures.

Everyone needs to know that there is no privacy on the Internet. Both law enforcement leaders stressed the “POS” — Parent Over Shoulder — approach to teaching kids responsible Internet use. It comes down to how well educated all of us are and how we put it into practice.