CHECK IT OUT:Just say ‘thanks’ for books on etiquette
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It is interesting that if you search through the etiquette books on the bookstore websites, such as Amazon.com or Barnesandnoble.com, many that have received excellent reviews from the critics receive harsh commentary from readers.
The reason? Most of the readers claim that there is nothing new here and that, after all, manners are just common sense.
If it is just common sense, why is it that so many people are writing about manners now? Is it, then, just a dearth of common sense that prompts people to become livid about the behavior encountered in a store, the office or on the freeway?
Lynne Truss, who wrote the delightful book on grammar a few years ago entitled “Eats Shoots and Leaves,” thinks that much of the answer lies with the new technology that has made normally self-absorbed folks all the more insulated and, well, self-absorbed.
In her new book, “Talk to the Hand: The Utter Bloody Rudeness of the World Today, Or Six Good Reasons to Stay Home and Bolt the Door,” Truss wittily bemoans the lack of civility that is a hallmark of civilization.
And while it is easy to wax nostalgic about those earlier days when people said “excuse me” and wrote thank you notes, the truth is that headphones, e-mail, cellphones and such are enclosing us in our personal space and making it harder to be aware of others.
Whatever the reason, though, there are some sharp new books on good behavior that answer questions of etiquette and hope to guide us into being nicer.
One really fun one is “What Would Jackie Do? An Inspired Guide to Distinctive Living” by Shelly Branch. Though it covers other lifestyle issues as well as etiquette, it is an intriguing way of reminding us that we still could learn some lessons on graciousness from our late First Lady.
And as we globalize and the world becomes smaller, there are some very useful books for the business traveler and the tourist. “The Global Etiquette Guide to Asia,” for instance, details specific ways in which not to be the “Ugly American,” while “Rules, Britannia” takes a lighter look at visiting the mother country, where the mother tongue can often be unintelligible.
There are also numerous books on office etiquette that are worth looking at from time to time. Certainly, they answer specific questions on the proper way to interview or write a recommendation letter, but studies have shown that hiring and promotion rely only about 15% on skills but 85% on deportment and manners.
They also address how to achieve the most out of the 9-to-5 grind by relying on decent behavior.
Etiquette books also focus on target groups.
There is a wonderful new series for children on manners. “Manners in the Classroom,” “Manners on the Playground,” “Manners at a Friend’s House,” and, most importantly, “Manners at the Library” lay a foundation for using common sense in getting through life.
As Lynne Truss is quoted as saying, “There is nothing original about being against rudeness. Everyone is against rudeness. In fact, very, very rude people object to it strongly.”
Kindness, thoughtfulness and civil behavior is easy in a perfect world. Sadly, the world is not perfect or easy — but it can be a little more civilized with the tiniest bit of effort.
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