CHASING DOWN THE MUSE: Birds of a feather take flak together

“Without others, we wouldn’t have the opportunity to become better human beings.”

Weather. Politics. Weather. War. Girlfriends. Weather. Minutemen. Creativity. Weather. Dominated by thoughts of the weather, my mind flips through the possibilities as another deadline approaches.

What will it be? A pause. An easy answer as nearby birdsong recalls one of my favorite quotes by Terry Tempest Williams: “I pray to the birds Â… because they remind me of what I love rather than what I fear. And at the end of my prayers, they teach me how to listen.”

Girlfriends it is. I do love them and they, like the birds, teach me to listen. And so much more.

How many times has each of us said to treasured friends: “When things slow down some, let’s get together.” Somehow, we often don’t. Why not now? Make the time. Summer is for just those things.

When we began this wonderful adventure of womanhood, most of us had no idea of the joys and sorrows ahead or of how much we would need our friends through those times. Every day, we need each other. Not just in the joyful or tough times, but every day.

Research on the patterns of friendship in women indicates that one of the most important functions of friendship for women is that of intimacy and assistance.

Best friends provide guidance, a chance to express feelings, feedback, understanding, and, often, an infusion of hope. We can just carp with girlfriends at times and there is no need for “fixing” things; it’s just a chance to vent.

Don’t get me wrong now, family is important, business associations may be critical, but girlfriends? Let me count the ways.

Have you ever noticed how even though you have not seen a girlfriend for years, perhaps not even written or spoken, you pick right up where you left off? How many of us — no matter how many miles or time in between — would drop whatever we are doing to go to the assistance of a girlfriend in need?

In the feminine life cycle, one of the most important gifts we can give ourselves and each other is the gift of another — the girlfriend gift.

Self-sufficiency is great, but don’t ever forget to be and have good friends. Isolation is what psychologists call “ego-dystonic” and has the potential for serious stress. No matter how busy one gets — and certainly we all can find that excuse on a regular basis — it is important that we be ever-mindful of the need for those girlfriends.

Grab a bite to eat together, pick up the phone, drop a note (not an e-mail!), go for a brisk walk or a short stroll together. Find a way. You will be so glad you did.

Politics, war, creativity, Minutemen, and the ever-present weather are not going away. You can take time with girlfriends to even talk about them all and feel better for having done so. And don’t forget to make new friends. They broaden our base, give us more to love, opportunities to stretch, or just one more view of things, one more hand to hold on to, one more hug.

Young or old, there is someone out there who is too isolated, who could use you as a friend, too. Share your knowledge and seek that of others. Summer is a-wasting. Go to it! If you cannot think of another soul, call or write me. I promise I will answer. I always need friends, too.

My special thanks to the Blue Fu Studio for reminding me of the importance of girlfriends and — like the birds and my many friends — for teaching me once again to listen.

In the midst of summer, their wonderful example allowed me to recall a focus on what I love rather than what I fear.