New Year’s voyage spies past, future

Ahoy.

Full steam ahead into the new year, and at least storms did not hit the Christmas boat parades like they did the Rose Parade.

Remember to join us at the Christmas boat parade awards dinner and auction on Jan. 20. Contact the Newport Beach Chamber of Commerce for more information.

This weekend, the seas will be stormy with small-craft warnings, so I recommend that you batten down the hatches until the seas flatten.

I know that you have been waiting for this year’s 2006 New Year’s Captain’s Log from my annual New Year’s voyage, past to future!

CAPTAIN’S LOG

Time -- 0001 Uniform Time, Date Jan. 1, 2006

We are cruising down the coast on a course to Newport Harbor aboard a new mega yacht while a fierce storm is pounding the ocean. After checking the navigational equipment and scanning the horizon for other boaters, we are all alone as the swells build around the boat.

Glancing at the security monitors on the bridge, I can see my crew members cheering in the new year with the guests on board not noticing the sea conditions thanks to the yacht’s stabilizers and our downhill course. The VHF radio is periodically crackling on the bridge with faint cheers from others boaters who might be on the water or safely in their home ports.

But, all of a sudden out of nowhere a nameless ghostly cruise ship sides in on a very close parallel course.

I can hear the New Year’s celebrations onboard the ship, so I try to peer through a porthole without bumping into her. In the glass, it looks like the reflection of New Year’s celebrations past, aboard ancient wooden boats with very uninviting accommodations -- I’m amazed how these comparatively smaller boats can float upright in the ocean.

I see the captains trying to steer their large, round, wooded helms, fighting each pass swell while navigating with crude compasses and hand drawn charts that resemble worn treasure maps. The captains are wearing eye patches on one eye, blinded from the sun’s rays while looking though their shiny brass telescopes. Also, I can see the crew cheering in the new year with mugs of rum while someone plays a fiddle.

Oops, I almost hit the side of the cruise ship.

I struggle to regain course and check my electronics. Once again, I glance in the porthole where now I can see what looks like the reflection of New Year’s future.

Sleek, futuristic yachts effortlessly slice through the ocean like they are floating on a cushion of air. These yachts are multi-decked with five-star accommodations for the guests. Now, the captains are sitting at flat display panels where they can control everything on the vessel with just a touch on the screen. The navigation systems display virtual 3D charts that appear to be coming out of nowhere but floating in the air.

The captain’s eye patches have been replaced with heads-up display most impressive and night vision cameras that overlay the images on the virtual charts.

In lieu of the fiddle for entertainment, the crew is watching the Boathouse TV Show bring in the new year on virtual monitors while the chefs prepare the five-star menu.

Hey, is that a -- oops, I almost skimmed the side of the cruise ship again.

I am suddenly awakened from my nap when I hear the Global Positioning System chart plotter beeping warning that the harbor entrance is nearing. I glance from the bridge’s soft leather couch where I am lying to see my first officer standing his watch. I know we are getting close to the harbor as I can see the lights on the buildings at Newport Center out of the bridge windows.

As I rise to take the controls to enter the harbor, I cannot stop dreaming about that cruise ship -- or was it reality?

End Captain’s Log:

“All safe, yacht is securely moored at home slip in Newport Harbor.”

I can imagine that the new year will bring new innovations and new boaters onto the waters, where I hope we welcome the past, present and future.

Tune in to “Capt. Mike Whitehead’s Boathouse Radio Show” on KCBQ-AM (1170) or online at www.BoathouseRadio.com.

Safe voyages.

* MIKE WHITEHEAD is the Pilot’s boating and harbor columnist. Send him your harbor and marine-related thoughts and story suggestions by e-mail to [email protected] or visit www.boathousetv.com.

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