Taking a no-guilt, no-regrets approach to parenting

The lazy, long days of summer are almost over. This year I had my

first regret-free summer. After several seasons of distractions --

new babies, a demanding job, then bed rest and a premature baby, I

was finally able to spend almost everyday with my children. I truly

got to know them better and show them a good time. My relationship

with all three of my children grew stronger and I am thankful that

God showed me the need to slow down and put them first this summer.

We just got back from a fun-packed trip to Disneyland and now we are

preparing for the new school year.

If you haven’t already started school, many of us begin again in

just a few days. So I ask you, how about trying a “no guilt and no

regrets” approach to parenting this coming school year?

Small changes can make a huge difference. How about volunteering a

bit at their school -- get creative if you work full time.

Join your child on a field trip if you have never done that

before, and attempt to sit and hear their world more during the week.

It is the best investment you can make in life.

The Bible tells us: “Train a child in the way he should go, and

when he is old he will not turn from it” (Proverbs 22:6, Holy Bible,

New International Version). The word “train” here in Hebrew has to do

with “dedication” to the raising of your child. It is a balance of

instruction and discipline. “The right way” means the way of wisdom.

If we do this, chances are they will return to our teachings when

they are grown, even if they stray a bit as adolescents.

We are to train our children in wisdom and the consequences of

their actions. We also need to have the right balance of teaching and

nurturing, to solidify the relationship. Author Josh McDowell writes

the following formula: RulesRelationship =Rebellion. Our children

will be far more open to listening to us if the relationship is

strong.

A relationship with our child is formed by nurturing, through

listening. Then we can easily teach life lessons as they arise.

Teaching moments come to us when a child is hurt by a friend; or

perhaps embarrassed at school. We have to look for these

opportunities as parents. Then, if we have formed a strong bond with

our child, we can teach a lesson and nurture them through the pain.

This is opportunity parenting.

So back to school our precious ones go. Pack a note in their lunch

box. Hug them as they put on their new backpack. Pray for them before

you let them out the car door. And intercede for them often, parents;

it is a rough world out there. What you teach them in the home

will be the one constant in their life.

You are raising the next generation. I know we are all very busy.

Sometimes it is better to lose a few hours of sleep to fit in

quality time with our child. It is the greatest work we will ever

do. And the rewards last eternally, unlike our professions. Show your

children how important they are to you this year -- and thank God as

you reap the benefits.

* THE REV. KIMBERLIE ZAKARIAN is the founder and president of Holy

House Ministries in Tujunga. She may be reached at

[email protected].

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