Tailoring retirement to a great-grandchild

Newport Beach’s Ed and Mary Chavez were living the dream of

retirement, reaping the benefits of a lifetime of hard work.

Ed Chavez retired in 1993, and the couple bought their retirement

home -- a beautiful town house with a picturesque view of the Back

Bay. They also bought a camper and spent much of their time traveling

the Southwest. Without the restraints of a schedule, they were able

to spend as much or as little time in any one place as they wanted.

But in January, everything changed.

That’s when the Chavez’s great-granddaughter, Micaiah Espinoza,

moved into their home. Micaiah’s mother was not in a position to

raise her child, so Ed and Mary Chavez stepped in.

Although they were enjoying retirement, they love having Micaiah

-- now 21 months old -- around.

“She has taken over our home, taken over our lives and taken over

our hearts,” Mary Chavez said with a smile as she flipped through a

book with her great-granddaughter.

Although Ed and Mary Chavez’s situation is unique in that they’re

raising their great-granddaughter, it is not uncommon for

grandparents to parent their grandchildren.

According to the 2000 census, 2.4 million grandparents are

responsible for their grandchildren living with them. In California,

more than 625,000 children are being raised by grandparents.

It has been quite a lifestyle adjustment -- Mary Chavez has traded

in her romance novels for potty-training books, and Ed Chavez now

spends his days shopping at toddler stores and playing in the park.

Instead of the nightly news, the three of them watch “Dora the

Explorer” every night before Micaiah goes to bed.

What was once a sitting room is now home to a bevy of children’s

toys. What used to be a sophisticated backyard patio now has a

permanent tea party setup.

But they couldn’t be happier.

“She has added a tremendous amount of pleasure to our lives,” said

Ed Chavez, 73. “She has her moments, but overall she’s a real good,

well-adjusted baby.”

The couple recently celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary and

their daughter Michelle Hill -- Micaiah’s grandmother -- took the

baby for the night. They went out to dinner and saw a play, but Mary

Chavez said all she could do was think about Micaiah, like she’s a

parent all over again.

“There isn’t a minute of the day that goes by that we don’t spend

with her,” she said. “We see every new thing she does; it’s so

exciting.”

She added that when you’re raising your own children, you don’t

have as much time to spend with them. Even as a stay-at-home mom,

Mary Chavez said she always had her hands full and as a result, she

was stricter with her kids than she now is with Micaiah.

“It’s different raising a child when you’re in your 70s than when

you’re in your 20s,” she said. “By the end of the day, sometimes I

don’t think I can take one more step, then I look at that beautiful

face, and I think, ‘I can keep going.’”

While the Chavezes have adjusted to their new roles in life, it is

not an easy feat for all. Because there are so many struggling with

the challenge of being parents all over again to a different

generation, there are also many support groups, and financial

assistance is available.

Barbara Royal, a marriage and family therapist with the Assessment

and Treatment Service Center in Newport Beach, leads a support group

called Grandparents as Parents.

She said people come in with their concerns -- such as health

issues, financial issues and child behavior problems -- and they

discuss ways to deal with all of these things.

Royal said that most of the time these people have become

responsible for their grandchildren because of substance abuse,

incarceration, mental illness, abuse or a parent’s inability to care

for the child. If it were not for the grandparents stepping in, a lot

of these children would end up in foster care.

“They [the children] wouldn’t be getting the nurture, the care,

the support -- everything they’re getting from their grandparents,”

Royal said. “They’re heroes; these people truly give their lives

again for another generation.”

ADDITIONAL INFORMATION

* Assessment and Treatment Service Center, Grandparents as Parents

support group: (949) 756-0993. Grandparents as Parents meets every

Monday from 9:30 to 11:30 a.m. at the service center, at 1981 Orchard

Drive. For more information, call (949) 756-0993.

* Grandparents may apply for free or low-cost health insurance for

the children they are raising through Medi-Cal or Healthy Families

programs. Healthy Families: (800) 880-5305 or

o7www.healthyfamilies.ca.govf7. For a free guide on Medi-Cal, the

California Office of the Children’s Defense Fund: (510) 663-3224.

* AARP Grandparent Information Center: (888) 687-2277 or

o7www.aarp.org/grandparentsf7.

* Grand Parent Again: o7www.grandparentagain.comf7.

* Child care subsidies, disability benefits, and special education

services may be available through the Children’s Defense Fund:

o7www.childrensdefense.orgf7. Information is also available through

the National Council on Aging’s Benefits Checkup at

o7www.benefitscheckup.orgf7. o7 f7

* LINDSAY SANDHAM is the news assistant. She can be reached at

(714) 966-4625 or [email protected].