More ‘Newporty’ behavior

SUE CLARK

Flo Martin’s column about the entitled attitudes of some Corona del

Mar parents, “Attitude, money problems,” March 4, brought back many

memories for me.

I worked at University and Woodbridge high schools in Irvine

before I transferred to our continuation school.

I remember parents filing lawsuits to try to force a teacher to

change a grade at Woodbridge -- they lost.

I had a Woodbridge parent not only tape my conversation but

challenge my refusal to write a letter of appeal to an impacted

University of California school, which had denied her daughter

admission.

This young lady was active in student government and cheerleading

but had only above-average grades. The mother took my denial and went

to a high school in another district and asked if a counselor there

would write a letter of appeal.

When that counselor agreed, she demanded a meeting with my boss. I

still remember her saying: “I can tell you don’t have children, or

you wouldn’t be so cruel.”

However, please bear in mind that it’s a Jekyll and Hyde thing in

my case.

I was also the most dreaded of all “Newporty” parents: a school

counselor and parent for four years at Newport Harbor High School.

(This is referred to in admin speak as Parentis Counseloris

Horribilis). I knew all the ropes and on some occasions, I made those

phone calls.

My daughter’s counselor was an extremely patient and kind person.

I tried not to bother him too much, because for the most part, my

daughter knew what courses she had to take, had the information on

when to test and so did all of her college-bound peers.

Sometimes, however, I let my natural anxiety take hold and would

call him.

Once, I asked him to change her English class, because it was one

of the academy English classes, and she was improperly placed.

He changed it for me immediately, and that was a win-win. I

remember an encounter with the attendance clerk when a call home said

she had been truant. I called her and in a Newporty kind of tone

proclaimed, “My daughter would never do that; she is a straight-A

student.”

The clerk laughed bitterly, “Oh, they can ditch, believe me.”

Turns out it was an error, but I should have put on my counselor

hat and remembered all the honor students who got into all sorts of

trouble at the high schools in which I had worked.

I know that while being extremely patient and kind to me, the

counselor may, just may, have silently rolled his eyes when he got a

message from me. I tried to thank him a lot, and I did commiserate

over all he had to do, with senior letters of recommendation and all

those “really pushy parents.”

I do admit to calling him anxiously several times during my

student’s senior year. It was apparent he had become my counselor

more than my child’s.

Truth be told, grade change requests to me are the most horrible

thing one can do. If a parent has to demand a grade change, first of

all, it’s the teacher’s priority to refuse.

Secondly, if a student gets into a top university and comes back

to rub someone’s nose in that fact, the parents have done their child

a huge parenting disservice.

It speaks poorly of the family’s character.

A much kinder thing to do would be to call back and thank the

hard-working counselors or teachers who helped your child along the

way.

* SUE CLARK is a Costa Mesa resident and a high school guidance

counselor at

Creekside High School in

Irvine. She can be reached

at [email protected]