11 days late and no roses?

MAXINE COHEN

Oops.

This is my Valentine’s Day column. Later than I would’ve liked,

but I made a little mistake last time and sent in the wrong column.

By the time I’d figured it out, it was too late to make the change.

So here’s the Valentine’s column now. It didn’t start out as a

column for Valentine’s Day, and I guess it hasn’t ended up a column

for Valentine’s Day, for that matter. But all in all, I think it’s a

darn good prescription for how to treat your sweetheart, on

Valentine’s Day or any other day of the year.

This column actually began as a tip from a hair stylist at the

Kittie Olivier Salon, who thought the scene at Starbucks on Goldenrod

Avenue and East Coast Highway on Saturday mornings -- everyone is out

drinking coffee with their dogs and the place is jammed -- would make

a good column.

So I checked it out. I met a war veteran, two airline pilots, and

various other canine lovers. Their stories were interesting but what

captivated me most was the dogs -- golden retrievers, a miniature

pinscher, a yellow lab, a bunch of furry small ones -- and the

interactions between them and their owners.

Which brings me to my dog, Maggie, a Lhasa apso-poodle mix. I’ve

had her since she was 3 months old and she’s now 7. She’s constantly

with me. Maggie sleeps at the foot of my bed and goes to work with me

each day. Maggie is my best buddy.

Just think about it. How often have you looked at your mate

playing with the dog and thought, “She, or he, is nicer to the dog

than to me. What’s going on here?”

We are so in love with our animals. They exude such uncon-

ditional love that we feel better just being in their presence.

It’s no wonder, really.

Dogs accept us as we are. They don’t know whether we’re fat or

thin, employed or laid off, living in a mansion or a shack, and they

don’t care. They just want to be with us.

Dogs live wholly in the moment. When they fetch, they’re thinking

only of the ball and how to get it and bring it back. When they go

for a walk, they’re joyous to be out and then equally happy to return

home. Dogs rarely carry a grudge, and when they do, they forgive

quickly.

Dogs don’t know they’re important. They don’t require people to

address them in a certain way nor do they require special attention.

They are humble and happy within themselves.

Dogs connect with their loved ones every day. They’re right there

to greet us with wet kisses and body wiggles when we come home.

They’re so happy to see us that it makes us happy to see them.

So treat your mate like a dog.

Greet him at the door when he comes home. Make a big deal about it

so he knows you’re happy to see him. (Use interchangeable pronouns,

of course.)

Rub his belly -- figuratively and literally. Gently and lovingly,

and a lot!

When she jumps up into your lap, welcome the invitation and pet

her.

When she comes running and drops her toy at your feet, know that

she wants your attention right now, and give it to her.

Be willing to play at a moment’s notice.

Walk (with) her 3 or 4 times a day. Spend the time paying

attention and admiring how cute she is, not spacing out or talking on

your cell.

Let your eyes be delighted by the prance of her legs and the

wiggle of her little rear end as she walks.

When he pulls back hard on the leash and refuses to budge, don’t

try to pull him along. Let go of where you were going and allow him

to take the lead. After a while, he’ll be willing to follow your

gentle lead once again.

Put up with some of the dirt and hair. Put up with the bones,

ropes, balls and chews he leaves strewn around. It’s his way of

saying, “I’m at home here.”

Tell her or him you love her or him whenever you feel it, and pat

him or her generously and lovingly and often.

Ah, the life of a dog.

Our mates should have it so good!

* MAXINE COHEN is a Corona del Mar resident and marriage and

family therapist practicing in Newport Beach. She can be reached at

[email protected] or at (949) 644-6435.