Newport Beach leaders busted for probably spying

JUNE CASAGRANDE

OK, Newport-Mesa: The jig is up. I know all about your little scheme.

Sending out spies to stalk me to be sure this column is in fact being

written by me and is not an elaborate charade involving Daily Pilot

Editor Tony Dodero in a wig. How do I know, you ask? I caught one of

your spies, that’s how.

I know you’ll deny it. But how else do you explain that, months

after I put myself at what I thought was a safe distance by moving to

Pasadena, I ran smack dab into Newport Beach City Councilman Don

Webb? “In town to celebrate an anniversary,” the alibi went. “Just

enjoying the art at the Huntington Gallery.” A likely story.

Well, nice try, says I. But you can call off your henchman. (Or is

it henchmen? Come to think of it, I could swear I noticed one of

those helmeted motorcycle cops in the Rose Parade wearing no socks, a

dead giveaway it was actually Newport Beach City Councilman Tod

Ridgeway. Yes, the ankles were tan.) It is indeed I who continues

grasping at straws to find a local angle on grammar every week.

Mission accomplished. Thanks Don.

Actually, I was a little embarrassed that I didn’t know Webb is

now vice mayor. I guess I shouldn’t be that embarrassed, because he’s

really not vice mayor. He’s mayor pro tem. But for some reason,

newspapers are a little nutty when it comes to applying their own

labels to things. For example, anyone who thinks the media is

obsessed with political correctness should consider this: While most

cities I know of refer to their elected officials as “council

members” (often “councilmembers”), many newspapers including this one

insist on labeling them by sex. You’re a councilman or councilwoman.

Even if you’re a man who, in a past life dressed up for a nightclub

act in which you were known as Bubbles Schwartz, you still must pick

a team.

The first word of this column reveals another quirk of the

newspaper business: OK. Lots of media prefer “okay,” but newspapers

always seem for the option that takes up the least amount of space on

the page. Either one you want to use is OK, just be consistent.

One of the weirdest things I encountered in newspaper-speak was a

flat-out refusal to report correctly some jury verdicts and court

pleas. You know how the opposite of a “guilty” verdict or plea is

“not guilty”? Well, a few years ago Times Community News style was to

write “innocent” instead of “not guilty,” even though no such verdict

exists in the court system. The reason was that “not guilty” made it

too easy to change the news by accidentally dropping the one little

word: “not.”

Anyone who’s ever looked at the New York Times side by side with

the Los Angeles Times is likely privy to the conspiracy by the

nation’s newspapers to confuse and intimidate readers. For example,

if you were to read a story in the Los Angeles Times about 1980s

fashion, you’d see there’s no apostrophe after the zero. But the New

York Times, in childish defiance of almost every other authority,

uses the apostrophe. “The 1980’s,” or “When she was in her 30’s.”

By the way, when referring to just the ‘80s, I recommend you put

in that first apostrophe to denote the missing “19,” but skip the

apostrophe between the zero and the S. And really, who are you going

to believe: me or William Safire?

Of course, the most reliable rule of newspaper style is that the

rules will keep changing, just like my address next time I see a

Newport-Mesa spy in my neck of the woods.

Thanks to those of you who responded to last week’s

noodle-scratcher regarding the word fun. It’s clear that people

disagree on whether “fun” can be used as an adjective, “That was so

fun,” instead of just as a noun, “That was so much fun.”

Webster’s New World College Dictionary says “fun” as an adjective

is an informal use. So if you’re writing about irking some stickler,

opt for the safer choice. But if you’re writing a column lampooning

people who you once relied on to help you do your job, have all the

fun you like.

* JUNE CASAGRANDE is a freelance writer. She can be reached at

[email protected].