Taking a rare interest in third strikes

JUNE CASAGRANDE

I have an irrational tendency to pride myself on things I’ve never

done. Until recently, a badge of honor I wore was that I had never

attended a high school, college or professional sporting event. Then

I remembered that, when I was 14 and living in Florida, a friend’s

parents took me to a Rowdies game. I’m not sure what the sport was,

but it involved a lot of cute guys in shorts that flapped around in

the breeze when then ran and kicked. Anyway, after this repressed

memory surfaced, I had to revise my boast. Sure, “I’ve never attended

a high school, college or professional baseball, basketball, boxing,

football, hockey, wrestling or curling match” sounds less impressive,

but at least it was honest.

And I could honestly say that I had never even watched a game on

TV. How’s that for a jaw-droppingly useless accomplishment?

Then I fell in love with a guy from the Boston area, and my proud

“nevers” have been falling one by one ever since (including a few

that are none of your business, got it?). But don’t think I’m a

pushover. My stubborn adherence to these bizarre variations on

virginity has been eroding very, very slowly. Yet after three years

of actively and passionately ignoring sports, this week did me in.

That whole thing with that Johnny Damon guy hitting the little

white ball all the way into those tiny people: I saw that. That whole

thing with that Damon guy hitting another little white ball into

another cluster of tiny people: I saw that, too. And, please don’t

tell anyone this part, I kind of liked it.

But now, I must pay with my soul. You see, ever since that night I

look in the mirror and see someone completely different from the

person I thought was there -- a fading silhouette of a rebel without

a clue.

So, in a desperate attempt to cling to my schizophrenic concept of

an identity, I’d like to do something that I have done before. In

fact, I did it right here. You might even have witnessed it.

About a year ago I wrote a column about the use of “different

from” and “different than” -- a cutting piece of investigative

journalism uncovering the right and wrong choice between these two

options. Then, about a year minus one day ago, I promptly forgot

everything I’d written. Then, about a week ago, two readers pointed

out that I was using one when I probably should have been using the

other. (You know, now that I think about it, maybe this column isn’t

the mental health magic bullet I was hoping for.)

Here’s what I reported last September in an attempt to explain the

difference between “different from” and “different than,” and that,

if nothing else, helps explain my confusion.

“When Words Collide -- A Media Writer’s Guide to Grammar and

Style,” by Lauren Kessler and Duncan McDonald, has an entry called

“different from/different than.”

It says, basically, that “different from” is always right.

“Different than,” however, is not always wrong. In Keller and

McDonald’s words: “If this leaves you wondering why ‘different than’

exists, join the ranks of contentious grammarians who have been

arguing this point for years.”

For practical purposes, they say, “consider using ‘different than’

only when it introduces a condensed clause (a clause that omits

certain words without loss of clarity). Open-meeting laws are

different in Illinois than (they are) in Oregon. In general, however,

play it safe with ‘different from.’ So the previous example would

read: Open-meeting laws in Oregon are different from those in

Illinois.”

Come to think of it, this explanation is kind of goofy. Inversely,

they’re saying that in a non-condensed form, when you leave in “they

are,” it should be “from.” So, to follow the letter of their

instructions, you should say “Open-meeting laws are different in

Illinois from they are in Oregon.” Surely, that’s not what they

meant.

From now on I’ll try to remember to use “from,” just to play it

safe. In the meantime, I’ll start bragging that I’ve never been

caught doing it wrong a third time.

* JUNE CASAGRANDE is a freelance writer. She can be reached at

[email protected].