Neptune’s a dive into culinary relaxation

Dave Brooks

Just a little north on Pacific Coast Highway, about a dozen blocks

into Sunset Beach, sits one of my favorite unofficial restaurant

districts -- a smattering of corny-but-cool seafood spots that still

hawk no-frills fillets with the staple baked potato and sour cream.

Seafood dining these days has become so dominated by the sushi

craze; everything’s either rolled with eel eggs or designed to match

Louis Vuitton’s spring line. I long for the days when it was still

posh to stuff your self and just pig out on a pound of Alaskan salmon

or wolf down a dozen grilled Jumbos.

It’s that convoluted reasoning that brought me to King Neptune’s,

a nondescript hole-in-the-wall that shares a zip code with seafood

giants like Captain Jack’s.

Come to think of it, the hole-in-the-wall designation doesn’t

really seem appropriate. King Neptune’s is a dive -- actually a dive

bar, to be exact. For those of you who don’t know, a dive bar is

typically a beat-up watering hole whose exterior usually consists of

deteriorating stucco, while its interior is filled with pictures of

dogs playing poker, dart boards and, well, drunk people.

Neptune’s certainly has few of those features, but it’s bold

decision to attach a small restaurant to the front of the building

gives it a sense of refinement, like watching pro wrestling with a

Chihuahua in your lap.

Of course, the restaurant is hidden on the south side of the

building and most visitors are instead greeted by a glass display of

handguns at the entry -- mostly revolvers and nine-millimeter pistols

that seem to provide a historical exhibition of armed robbery in the

area.

The waiter let my friend and I choose our own seats in the gold

spray-painted Egyptian tomb-themed dining area, and we picked a table

next to one of the bar’s fish tanks. Although the menu seemed pretty

straightforward, the waiter was polite enough to sit down and answer

our barrage of questions about food we had no intention of ordering.

After the interrogation was complete, I decided to go with the

Seafood Brochette ($21.95), a sampling of grilled shrimp, scallops,

swordfish and salmon. I have to admit that the price seemed a little

high for the food I was given. The meal did come with some spongy

cauliflower, green beans and a serving of bland fries, and I was

impressed by the freshness of the clam chowder, but the expense just

didn’t seem to match the quality. The shrimp tasted really dry and

the salmon and swordfish were really buttery, almost greasy.

I think it would have been better to go along with my friend’s

selection and order the seared ahi ($17.95). The tuna steak was

massive, one of the biggest I had ever seen. And it was cooked to

perfection, each side perfectly grilled with only faint charcoal

marks and a fine uncooked pink interior that was teeming with flavor.

I also appreciated that the steak came pre-sliced, which made it much

easier for my friend to enjoy with chopsticks.

All in all, I’d say I had a mixed experience at King Neptune’s.

The dive-bar feeling kind of gave it a relaxed sense, and if someone

asked me where to get a huge piece of fish, I send them there.

Hole-in-the-wall places can be cozy, but Neptune’s can’t get past its

tough-guy demeanor. Neptune’s is good place to go on paydays with

your buddies to talk about ultimate fighting, but probably not the

best way to impress the opposite sex, even if you both order the

oysters.