The story of the cat and the ‘that’

JUNE CASAGRANDE

The howl sounded like it was coming from upstairs. But that wasn’t

possible. Two of the three cats were in my line of sight downstairs.

And the only thing that causes kitty howls around here these days is

when the newly introduced animals get too close for comfort.

So it was at a leisurely pace that I climbed the stairs. Sure

enough, Eddie was lying lazily on his side on the floor -- hardly the

posture of a cat on edge. I figured the howl must have come from

somewhere outside and moved in toward Eddie for a hello pat. That was

when I saw it.

Never in my 12 years’ experience as a cat owner had I witnessed

anything like it. Never, in more than 12 years of living with a cat

whose charming defects have earned him nicknames such as “Smelly Cat”

and “The Feline Dental Floss Dispenser,” had I imagined this could

happen.

Eddie, defective but endearing little beast that he is, had

somehow hooked a claw from his right front paw into his right rear

paw. He was lying on his left side, half hog-tied.

He was good and stuck and none too happy about it. He was even

less happy about my attempts to gently release him from his bizarre

kitty knot. After a few half-hearted tries, I got serious.

Pretending I wasn’t frightened by his panicked hissing and

squirming, I spoke to him in a calming voice, positioned myself over

him and prepared to do that stern-but-gentle thing parents and pet

owners must sometimes do. That’s when Eddie panicked, gave a good

yank and, in the process, freed himself.

I laugh now, but I suspect I’ll have permanent emotional scars.

I tell you this story because I can. And I can because I justify

it by hiding a grammar lesson within. Above, I wrote “12 years” in

two different instances. But in one case, I used an apostrophe. In

another, I did not. The difference? An “of.”

The Associated Press Style gurus use the term “quasi possessive”

to describe phrases such as “12 years’ experience,” “a day’s pay,”

“an hour’s drive” or “two weeks’ vacation.”

The idea is that, well, it’s kind of possessive, just like “a

cat’s defective genetic makeup.”

But you would drop the possessive when you write, “A cat of

defective genetic makeup.”

Same idea. But you don’t even have to understand the rule to get

it right. Just remember that the “of” precludes the apostrophe and

vice-versa. Use one or the other, but not both.

Now that that’s out of the way, there’s something that I want to

revisit: “that.”

Contrary to what I reported last week, several people have

e-mailed me with helpful information on when to use “that.” A quick

refresher: I had asked readers to help with the question of when you

would say, “I knew that Eddie was goofy,” vs. just “I knew Eddie was

goofy.”

As readers pointed out, there is no one clear rule on this. In a

lot of cases, it’s a judgment call. My personal approach is always to

use fewer words whenever possible, cutting out the extra fat.

But Melissa Hauke sent in something that had slipped past me, a

very important and useful observation she paraphrased from the New

York Times Style Guide:

“If the word after the verb can be mistaken for its direct object,

the reader may be momentarily led down a false trail, and ‘that’ must

be retained: The mayor disclosed that her plan for the rhubarb

festival would cost $3 million.”

Without the “that,” you might read it as, “She disclosed her

plan.” Good stuff, Melissa. Thank you.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must check to make sure that my cat is

still just that and not some form of furry pretzel.

* JUNE CASAGRANDE is a freelance writer. She can be reached at

[email protected].