‘Van Helsing’ bogged down by director

Evan Marmol

“Van Helsing” had the lofty task of paying homage to the creators of

the monsters that have captured our collective imagination for

generations. The film was meant to inspire the irrepressible fear and

curiosity we have devoted to these mythical creatures. The purpose

was to depict them in an original light to rekindle these fears and

mesmerize the audience by entrenching them in the eternal battle of

good versus evil.

Unfortunately, as with all films with stilted aspirations, it was

bogged down by the vanity of the director, who blithely disregarded

the narrative by substituting it with bland special effects and dry,

prattling dialogue.

Entertainment appears to be secondary in a film that amounts to

nothing more than a rambling boor-fest with expensive,

computer-generated images. Performances by Hugh Jackman and Kate

Beckinsale were pared down to the lowest common denominator. They

played opposite each other deprived of emotion, in what were nothing

short of lethargic and uninspired performances.

This film was nothing more than an amalgam of the worst aspects of

the classic films it represents, combined with a thin and confounding

plot with lulls that are utterly sedating.

The gist: Van Helsing (Jackman) is charged with the duty of

dispatching the evil that wanders the world. His attitude throughout

is reminiscent of a languidly, emotionless child following orders

that he neither understands nor cares for. Beckinsale plays opposite

him as the lithe, fearless warrior that he must protect and fight

alongside. Together they are beset by beasts including the Wolf-Man

and leading to the all-powerful Count Dracula.

This does sound like an enchanting concept, but the delivery is

wretched. “Van Helsing” never avails itself of the wondrous history

of the frightening demons involved. At no point does the audience

identify with the characters, rendering them shallow and

underdeveloped, begging the question: Who cares? The action resembles

a child’s video game, assaulting the senses without any enduring

magnificence. This film is a failure not worthy of what it

represents.

‘Day’ worth it for the thrills

Imagine torrential rain, followed by pernicious hail, all leading

to glacial weather blanketing the northern hemisphere with ice.

“The Day After Tomorrow” portrays Dennis Quaid as a quixotic

scientist that predicts impending doom on deaf ears. Jake Gyllenhaal

plays his hapless son captured in the unforgiving elements. The plot

is a riveting rescue thriller with liberal political themes embedded

throughout the film; despite this, the destructive power of mother

nature, and the graphics used to display this completely steal the

show.

Nature disrupts humanity with a vicious onslaught that devastates

nations with an immediate fury; people throughout the world scramble

to avoid the unremitting and unmitigated attack.

It is astounding to watch America’s most prominent landmarks yield

under the power of nature. Watching this flick is a virtual tour

around the nation watching everything eradicated by this uncanny

blight.

This movie is less than the spiritual journey and critique of

human nature that it hopes to be. It falls short of this with

uninspired dialogue and unnecessary subplots. What is does accomplish

is thrilling, with impossible action sequences and overwhelming

effects.

This is not the touching, polemic film it promised, but it is

definitely worth watching and enjoying.

‘Day Without a Mexican’ enjoyable

Director Sergio Arau directed a polemic film that borders on a

comical and scathing commentary on the instrumental nature of Latinos

in California.

The gist is what would happen if all Latinos were to vanish, to

disappear without a trace with no rhyme or reason. Most importantly,

what would our collective response be to such a devastating tragedy?

The wry style and sardonic wit with which the director concocts a

frenzy of natural-born Americans frenetically searching for a

solution for the loss of, ostensibly, California’s most undervalued

and crucial resource, is astounding.

Restaurants are closed, home cleaners evaporate, day cares and

schools are bereft of teachers and caregivers, and produce is not

merely pared down, it is totally halted. To qualify these bold

statements, the director infuses statistics that are not only mind

boggling, but they also provide a tangible quality to the story line.

To further the levity, a Mephistophelian governor, rife with Pete

Wilson sentiments, is designated to mitigate the “Mexican Problem.”

The Border Patrol is found frantically riffling through the want ads.

And the last existing Latino is being both revered and paraded around

like a saint.

This flick is informative, humorous and, at times, touching. It

has the feel of a documentary only with a bit more luster. All this

notwithstanding, it holds a mighty torch to the tripe released by

Hollywood lately. It is an enjoyable movie, delightful, but it drags

its feet more than once.

* EVAN MARMOL is Laguna Beach resident. He graduated from UC

Irvine with a degree in psychology and social behavior. He can be

reached at [email protected].