Make yourself at home

Lolita Harper

Their reasons are varied, their teaching styles unique, but parents

who chose to home-school their children have one common bond: They

are passionate about having an intimate role in the children’s

education.

Meet four mothers who have taken the reins on their children’s

schooling. Each has a different story to tell, a personal reason for

declining a public education for her children.

One mother’s aversion for political correctness motivated her to

home-school, another chose to stay at home to cater to her son’s

special needs.

Their personalities range from outspoken to shy, but each said she

wanted to shatter the myths of home-schooling and shed light on a

growing movement.

THE CHILD PRODIGY

When her son was 15 months, Naden Martin taught him the alphabet

phonetically and would continually review it with him. At 19 months,

Tyler read the word “gingerbread man” off one of his father’s

T-shirts, she said.

“He just walked up and said ‘gingerbread man’ out of the blue,”

Martin said.

Before Tyler was 2, he was reading to himself. And in April, he

was reading computer books such as “Q is for Quark” and “G is for

Google.” One textbook taught the intricacies of binary numbers -- the

language of computers.

“We make learning fun,” Martin said. “There is no set schedule. If

he is more interested in playing, we play. I don’t like to force it

because then I feel he is not receptive.”

One would think that this would evolve into an environment that

allows for little study time, but because the learning is so fun,

Martin said, her son is excited to do educational activities.

“What would you like to do today that is educational?” she asked

him.

“Well, I think I would like to read,” Tyler said, and pulled up

his book on the planets.

Tyler, 5, is doing mostly fourth-grade work, but often times, his

mother encourages him to try more difficult course work, such as an

eighth-grade grammar test she found for him online.

“He got about half of them right and that was great,” Martin said.

“At least he was being challenged.”

THE ROOKIE

Laurie Ludes knew that her son Jonathan’s education would be

challenging because of his autism. What she didn’t expect was the

cruelty from other children, who teased him incessantly.

When he was younger, and in a smaller school, the kids all knew

him, she said. They recognized his differences but embraced him as a

friend, Ludes said. But at Davis Elementary, it was different. There

were too many children to develop those kind of intimate

relationships, and some children made fun of him.

“Jonathan hated it,” Ludes said. “It was very overwhelming and

confusing for him. When I saw that situation, I was very quick to

react. I was like, ‘No one is going to treat my kid that way.’”

It has been nearly a year since she began home-schooling.

THE SCIENCE TEACHER

Shirley Ford is a science teacher who opens her Anaheim home to

children from all over Orange County, including many from

Newport-Mesa, for a high school course that includes a lecture and

lab portion.

Ford has home-schooled her children for 12 years, after working as

a “traditional teacher” in public and private schools, she said. Ford

partners with other parents who have chosen the same path to provide

a full and balanced education for their children. Just as she

provides added expertise in terms of science curriculum for children

other than her own, she also looks to other parents to do the same

for hers in other subjects.

“I have a master’s of education in teaching sciences, but I take

my children to music lessons because I am not a musician,” Ford said.

THE EQUAL-OPPORTUNITY EDUCATOR

Wendy Leece, a former trustee for the Newport Mesa Unified School

District, home-schooled her first four children because she was

dissatisfied with both public and parochial education. She sent her

youngest to public school.

As time passed, and more of her children transitioned between

home, private and public schooling, Leece has been able to take an

all-encompassing look at her children’s education, deciding that each

avenue provided its own benefits and hardships, she said.

“I work full time and am involved in [Emily’s] education,” said

Leece, who now is a Costa Mea Parks and Recreation Commissioner. “The

mom’s got to do everything she can to get her kids the best education

and create a love for learning. Part of our jobs is to be a teacher

to our children and home-schooling is one way to have the hands-on.”

THE PASSION OF THE HOME-SCHOOLER

“There are a lot of things that are missing from public education,

and that is basically why I decided to home-school,” Martin said.

The central problem she encounters, she said, is that the public

school system tells young black children that they should not have to

try as hard -- that they deserve extra credit because they are at

disadvantage.

“The education is not there because everyone is so focused on

being politically correct,” Martin said about public education.

As a black woman, Martin said she saw other black children being

passed when they had not met the academic standards because “nobody

wanted to hurt their feelings.”

“These children are being pushed through the system because of

color or some perceived injustice,” Martin said.

Martin’s mother was a schoolteacher in Philadelphia and was

constantly being admonished by administrators because she refused to

pass any child who had not earned it. Martin said they called her

mother racist.

“We’re not doing [minority children] any favors,” Martin said. “We

are hobbling them, setting them up for a life of handouts like

welfare. People are equal and can learn equally. It is an insult to

me that someone would look at my skin color and think that I can’t

learn as well as the next kid.”

Martin believes true equality means exactly that -- equal

standards and expectations for everyone. If all children are exposed

to the same expectations, then they will learn the value of hard work

and accomplishment, Martin said. Given the same opportunities, all

children can achieve greatness, regardless of color.

“As long as I can get to that door, I can get through it just like

everyone else,” Martin said.

TEACHING VALUES

Ludes, who started a home-based business to be able to

home-school, said she takes joy in being able to provide her son with

the tailored education that he needs. One-on-one instruction is ideal

for any child, but for one who is autistic, it is all the more

crucial, she said.

“I love being with my child,” she said. “I love being the one to

lift his spirits -- to watch him light up. I love spending my day

with him.”

Ford’s religious beliefs were important, and she wanted them to

play a part in her children’s education.

“I definitely want my kids to get a full world view,” Ford said.

“Another point of view, instead of a selfish, egocentric point of

view. One in which they learn not only knowledge but what to do with

that knowledge and why it is important in the grand scheme of

things.”

The Fords are a Christian family and want those values to be

represented in all lessons -- academic and otherwise.

“Yes, I am a Christian,” Ford said. “I would call myself a strong

Christian -- I hope that is not bragging.”

Often, the scientific world and the religious worlds are at odds,

but Ford says it is her vast knowledge of science that bolsters her

Christian beliefs. The more she delves into science, the more Ford

said she realizes that the world cannot be just the unintended

consequence of random occurrences.

“The world is not just some icing on the cake, it is much, much

deeper,” she said, adding that God had a master plan when he created

the Earth.

Leece was not enamored with her neighborhood elementary school,

she said. When faced with the decision to enroll her oldest son, who

is now 31, at Wilson Elementary -- the only elementary school open in

late 1970 on Costa Mesa’s Westside -- she decided against it.

Leece, who had taught high school in Arizona’s public school

system and worked as a substitute in Newport-Mesa, said she also

wanted to customize her children’s curriculum to include academic

basics as well as the family’s social beliefs.

“It is the last way to sort of insulate your kids from the world

and society and a culture that is pretty toxic sometimes,” Leece

said.

After a mix of home- and private-schooling the four eldest through

various grades, Leece eventually put them all in public schools. When

Victoria Elementary opened again, it was just in time for her

youngest daughter, Emily, to start school. Although Leece was a

proponent of home-schooling, she enrolled her daughter in public

school.

Leece also went from being a stay-at-home mother to a single

parent when her husband passed away about five years ago, she said,

and so the option to home-school disappeared.

THE COSTS OF BEING AT HOME

When one parent is dedicated to teaching, that leaves only one

income for the family. Parents who have chosen to home-school said

the financial constraints are the biggest challenge.

“Home-schooling requires a huge commitment,” Ford said. “Most

home-schooling families do not have as much money because only one

parent can work. The upside is you get really close to your kids, not

only in helping them learn but learning what makes them tick.”

Martin’s job is to stay home and prepare Tyler for life. Her

husband “works his butt off,” in order to make this happen, she said.

They have made sacrifices, but it is worth it.

The Martins live in a one-bedroom apartment in Newport Beach, and

the living room and dining area are dedicated to Tyler’s schooling.

In the far corner of the living room is the “Super Shop,” a market

that Tyler owns and manages, selling items like cake mix and cat food

to his parents for a profit.

Instead of a dining room table, there is a computer where Tyler

researches various subjects such as grammar, math, science --

whatever, Martin said. The Internet is a valuable tool in

home-schooling, or just in supplementing a traditional education,

because there are a variety of teaching and testing methods from all

over the world.

Just to the right of the computer table is the kitchen and beyond

the kitchen, the bathroom and bedroom. Four small rooms comprise the

Martin household.

A fancy house, expensive toys and luxury items won’t help Tyler

succeed, Martin said.

“As you can see, we are not rich by any means, but we do it

because we want Tyler to get the very best education,” said Martin.

Aside from monetary costs, Leece said there are some risks

associated with home-schooling that stem from society’s general

misunderstanding of it. Some parents who home-school their children

do not want it widely publicized because they don’t want others to

pass judgment or wonder why their children are not “in school.”

“There are just ornery people, you know?” Leece said. “All it

takes is one call to Social Services to have them arrive on that one

day that you have a cold, or that the television is on, or something

to have them take your children.”

While it may sound a little extreme, Leece said it is a very real

fear among those who have gone against the grain in choosing

home-schooling.

WHAT YOU CAN’T

LEARN IN SCHOOL

“People have a lot of preconceived notions about home-schooling.”

It was a statement heard across the board from those who educate

their own children. They are not all religious zealots, or

overbearing mothers who can’t let go. They are not social outcasts or

political extremists. They are mothers who care deeply and who chose

to express that love in the form of teaching.

“Who loves your kids more than you do?” Ford asked. “Who? Nobody

except for maybe God, so you are going to make sure your kids get

what is needed.”

The one question the four mothers said they faced the most is: How

do their children learn to socialize?

Because of the increasing popularity of home-schooling, there are

various networks that allow parents to connect with others for field

trips or play time. Aside from academics, their children are involved

in some of the same extra curricular activities as other children,

such as Boy Scouts, summer camps and sports.

Mitch Streiff, Tyler’s father, said the interaction accomplished

through traditional schooling is overrated.

“That socialization is all kids are learning [in public schools],

and it is all wrong,” Streiff said.

“This way we get to instill the values in [Tyler] that we want him

to have,” his wife said. “He still has interaction, but he has our

values.”

Ludes agreed, adding that the way other children were acting

toward her son was extremely negative.

“Everybody talks about the social, the social,” Ludes said. “But

is that social good? No, not in our situation.”

The picture of public schools conjures up images of chaos in

Leece’s head -- teachers struggling with too many students, rowdy

children disrupting class, talking, shouting, note-passing and the

like.

“Home-schooling is a whole other picture of quietness,” Leece

said. “There’s not a whole lot of ‘hurry up.’ We study American

history, and then we take a trip to Massachusetts.”

THE HOW-TO OF HOME-SCHOOLING

One option for parents who choose to home-school is to enroll

through a public school program that provides guidelines for parents

to follow.

The Community Home Education Program, offered through the Orange

County Department of Eduction, offers a curriculum for home-schooling

parents that falls in line with requirements.

Pat Novak, the principal of the county home-schooling program,

said the program is designed specifically to assist parents who elect

to take the lead role in their children’s education.

Ludes said she chose the county’s program -- most commonly

referred to as CHEP -- because she needed guidance.

“I was new at this, so that is the way I went,” Ludes said.

The Newport Mesa Unified School District also offers a

home-schooling program under its Special Education department,

district spokeswoman Jane Garland said. The basics are the same as

the county program: Home-schooling parents follow a basic outline for

their children’s education and work with the district in achieving

various benchmarks.

Home-schooling parents can also choose to work through a private

school satellite and enroll in “independent studies,” according to a

summary of California laws from the Home School Legal Defense Fund.

In this scenario, the private school of choice supplies the

guidelines for parents to follow.

A third option is to hire a private tutor. The state requires

proof of at least three hours of studies for 175 days per year,

according to the defense association. The tutor must also be

credentialed.

The last, and probably most complicated option, is to qualify as a

private school. The state requires that those who choose to teach

their children at home must be “capable of teaching” and file an

annual affidavit with the superintendent of public education between

Oct. 1 and Oct. 15, according to the defense association.

Leece said the paperwork can be tricky and parents must establish

themselves as a “qualified private school” within that narrow window

of time. If not, their schooling is not recognized as official, she

said.

“A lot of parents are afraid that someone will tell them they are

not qualified,” Ford said.

THE FIRST TEACHERS

Ford quiets these apprehensions in other parents by reminding them

that they are already teachers. Who teaches children to tie their

shoes, count to 10 and say the alphabet? Ford asked. Parents. Mothers

and fathers are also acutely aware of how their child learns and are

able to provide that special, individualized instruction.

Martin said she is constantly on the computer, looking for fresh

ways to teach young Tyler. She also must make sure that she is up to

speed on his various subjects.

“I constantly spend time online re-educating myself,” Martin said.

“Sure I have a certain level of understanding, but I want to make

sure I am always on top of things. You have to be on your toes.”

Their love for their children, combined with a drive to offer the

best schooling, creates an unparalleled synergy that is not too often

found in traditional schooling, Ford said.

“Some of the best teachers I’ve ever met were home-schooling

moms,” Ford said. “Being a credentialed teacher, which I actually

happen to be, does not make you a great teacher.”

* LOLITA HARPER is the enterprise and investigative reporter for

the Daily Pilot. She may be reached at (949) 574-4275 or by e-mail at

[email protected].