Views on aging and spirituality

Since all of us expect to be old, it is in our best interest to

cultivate respect for the condition we all hope to share. Religion

offers us the insight that individual worth does not center on the

ability to work, the production of goods, or the acquiring of income,

but on the extent to which we fulfill our capacity as human beings

created in the image of God.

Regardless of age, productivity, or health, our worth and dignity

flow from who we are and what we can be, not from what we can make

and own. In our culture there are three ages: youth, middle age, and

“you’re looking wonderful.”

The secular focus on physicality has led to great sadness and

loneliness, much loss of meaning and isolation. Society tells us to

age well by lifting our faces. Judaism teaches us to age well by

lifting our eyes to new horizons, lift our spirits to God and lift

our hands to embrace life. At whatever age we are, we all need

open-soul surgery.

We should heed General MacArthur’s words on the subject: “Nobody

grows old except by deserting his ideals. Years may wrinkle the skin,

but to give up wrinkles the soul. You are as young as your faith. You

are as old as your doubt. You are as young as your hope, as old as

your despair.”

These messages delineate the striking contrast between Western

society and the religious tradition where the image of man is in his

character, in his learning, in his giving. Religion cultivates love

-- love of God, of humankind, of kindness, truth and compassion. As

we age, these qualities should be strengthened.

Diogenes said, “If I were running in the stadium, ought I to

slacken my pace when approaching my goal? Ought I rather to put on

speed.” As the years left to us diminish in number, our attachment to

these values should intensify. “Teach us to number our days that we

may acquire a heart of wisdom,” said the Psalmist.

What is the true way of numbering our days? Not by how many days

you can count, but by how many of your days count for something.

RABBI MARK MILLER

Temple Bat Yahm

Newport Beach

If we are living, we are aging. Churches, synagogues, mosques and

other faith communities are filled with aging persons like me. As “a

1946 model” (a “boomer” myself), when I arrived in Corona del Mar at

42 the average age of our congregation was 57; now that I am 57, the

average age is 42.

Still, lots of our beloveds are graying gracefully. Our “Senior

Ministry” calls on homebound and unwell people, offers

transportation, provides entertainment and creates innovative

programs such as an upcoming supper with neighbors from both a

synagogue and a mosque.

Integral and honest ministries with aging persons are booming.

Faith communities sponsor retirement centers, assisted living

services, health consultations and convalescent care, age-in-place

programs, women’s and men’s guilds, educational forums, special

liturgies and worship and senior celebrations. These are areas in

which ecumenical and interfaith cooperation happens easily and often.

Faithful professionals including doctors, educators, lawyers,

counselors, analysts, planners, administrators and many others

provide direct assistance to our most mature adults, often as

ministries of service with no fees attached.

Faith communities value the experience and wisdom of our elders

and are places for meaningful inter-generational relationships.

Elderly persons without children or grandchildren of their own nearby

can easily find surrogates sitting next to them during worship

services; children without grandparents or aunts/uncles find them

during fellowship with the sister/brother children of God. Extending

God’s grace, communities at worship become extended families in

faith.

THE VERY REV.

PETER D. HAYNES

St. Michael & All Angels

Episcopal Church

Corona del Mar

“How old is God?” A Zen teacher in his 90s recently assigned

meditation on this question to a 20-year-old college student

attending his first retreat. It is not uncommon for Zen teachers to

practice at Zen Centers well into their 80s and 90s. At our center,

practitioners range in age from 19 to 67.

Despite the image created by the beat poets of the ‘50s and ‘60s,

Zen has tended to attract people in midlife and later years.

Priorities naturally shift toward more concern about the ultimate

purpose of life and how to cope with suffering, sickness and death. A

spiritual tradition must respond meaningfully to these challenges if

it is to be of real help to an aging population.

Resources for the journey within, and support for the journey

together, seem to me more important than creed, dogma or someone

else’s “answers.” Meditation does not appeal to everyone, but it can

be an amazingly effective tool in living each age of life with

authenticity, compassion and wisdom.

Meditation -- being aware, waking up and appreciating each moment

-- is usually possible even if someone has serious health or physical

limitations. At our center, we encourage each person to use the

posture for meditation that is best for him or her, depending upon

age, health, flexibility and individual needs. People may use chairs

or even lie down, if sitting or kneeling with a cushion is not

appropriate. Meditation is also done at home on one’s own.

As we grow in number of participants, we prefer to increase our

schedule to offer more times and days when a small group can come

together to meditate, rather than expanding space or facilities so

one very large group can meditate together on one particular day.

Besides meeting at a center, groups can also meet in homes,

retirement communities, healthcare facilities and so on.

One of the most important Zen teachings is that there is no old

age, suffering or death, but this realization usually comes as a

fruit of steady Zen practice.

THE REV. DEBORAH BARRETT

Zen Center of Orange County

Costa Mesa

I’m not sure cater is the right word. It is our goal to see

everyone find a place of significance within the body of Christ.

There is a Biblical mandate that the older should teach the younger.

It is core to our belief that the older will always have a place

and a responsibility as long as there are younger Christ-followers

that need to be taught the path. That hasn’t always been the

practice, but we are waking up to the reality of the goldmine we have

under our noses in our golden-aged elders.

We now have programs like our marriage mentors, for example, where

couples who come to us for premarital counseling agree to meet

monthly after their wedding with a couple we choose who have been

married for 35 years or more. Aside from giving them a real place of

purpose, it also opens up relationships between generations. That

comes in handy when you want to change worship styles.

SENIOR ASSOCIATE

PASTOR RIC OLSEN

Harbor Trinity Church

Costa Mesa