Staying resolute despite calendar
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We want to be more loving, and fall short. I view New Year’s
resolutions as natural expressions of profound aspiration, that is, a
rekindling of our deepest yearning to better express our genuine
self. In Zen, we use the image of polishing a diamond: the diamond is
beautiful as it is, but we shine it up so it will reflect its nature
even more clearly.
The cold weather, short days, reunions with family and friends,
the breaks in routine, more leisure time and all of the sacred
holidays of December naturally reconnect us with a universal vow to
grow, to bloom, to mature. Practicing with aspiration must be
frequent and regular, not a once-a-year thing if it is to be of much
value.
In my experience, resolutions without a supportive structure peter
out, whereas aspiration which is tested and resurrected after each
failure continues to teach us at ever-deeper levels. By contrast, if
“resolution” were viewed as a strong-willed person succeeding at
accomplishing his or her goals, a Zen Buddhist point of view would
regard this as working at the branches and not the root. I would also
note that a downside to making resolutions can be over-investment in
thinking about good intentions for the future rather than
experiencing the present moment, which may include the discomfort we
are attempting to escape by making resolutions.
The most fundamental resolution, or vow, for a Zen practitioner is
to live in awareness by using the tools of meditation and the support
of community. This will be most helpful in sticking with the
resolution, and naming it or reviewing it monthly might be useful for
some people -- we can be creative. I like writing a statement and
taping it to my bathroom mirror.
THE REV. DEBORAH BARRETT
Zen Center of Orange County
Costa Mesa
Keeping resolutions is a matter of discipline, not of calendars.
Christian heritage gives considerable emphasis to firmness of
resolve, that is, discipline. The anonymous Letter to the Hebrews,
particularly chapter 12, verses seven through 11, describes
discipline in the Lord. Discipline accepted “for God’s sake,” and
vows taken “in the Name of God” are most likely to be kept.
For example, in “The Celebration and Blessing of a Marriage” (Book
of Common Prayer, pages 422-438), a man takes a woman to be his wife
and a woman takes a man to be her husband “In the Name of God ... .”
Keeping such resolve is likely to be enabled by remembering that
the vow was made in the name of the one from whom we all have come
and to whom we are all returning, the one who gives us all we have
including the wonder of life and the mystery of love, and remembering
that it was made in the presence of family and other beloveds and
with their support.
Remembering the date and other particulars under which the vow was
resolved is less likely to strengthen one for keeping the commitment
made (of course, I am a husband, and we are notorious for not even
remembering wedding anniversaries!)
In my Bible, I carry a card given long ago by one of my mentors;
it says, “Through discipline comes freedom!” This seems to me to be
what most New Year’s resolutions are about: freedom from the weighty,
freedom from the immobilizing, freedom from the incapacitating,
freedom from the debilitating, freedom from the boring. A time-tested
prayer for peace speaks of God “in whose service is perfect freedom.”
Resolutions are less likely to be keep-able if made in a name from
the calendar than they are when made in the name of God.
THE VERY REV. CANON
PETER D. HAYNES
Saint Michael & All Angels
Episcopal Church
Corona del Mar
Does our Jan. 1 change of calendars meet a corresponding change in
us?
Much of religion is based on tradition, heritage,
generation-to-generation. We perform rituals and observe ceremonies
because that is the way it has always been. There is a comfort in the
continuity of custom. Here is something we can count on, a
predictable core of stability.
But life must be dynamic and embrace change. There is much good
that we do because it has always been that way. But there is much
that is not worthwhile to perpetuate just because we have always done
it that way.
Judaism never allows for complacency. In Hamlet, Shakespeare
writes, “We know what we are, but we know not what we may be.” George
Bernard Shaw remarked that the only intelligent man he knew was his
tailor, who would take a new measure of him every time he ordered a
new suit. The tailor would not assume, as did others, that he always
remained the same George Bernard Shaw.
David ben-Gurion was once asked by a young student, “Mr. Prime
Minister, what was the moment of greatest satisfaction in your life?”
He answered, “Satisfaction? What is satisfaction? What is the good of
it? If a man becomes satisfied, what is he to do then? A man who is
satisfied no longer yearns, no longer dreams, no longer creates, no
longer makes demands. No, I have never known a single moment of
satisfaction.”
We must always rise higher and never rest content with the
achievement of the present. It is good to resolve to not remain the
same in many areas. There is some habit to outgrow, some way of
thinking to improve, some characteristic that merits changing. We can
all more generously devote ourselves to causes; we can all more
strenuously give of ourselves to some good; we can all more
thoughtfully pay attention to our loved ones.
Will the coming year be just one more year? The answer lies in the
recognition that a new year is not decreed by the calendar but
proclaimed by man himself. It is his decision to change that gives
meaning to the “new” in new year.
RABBI MARK MILLER
Temple Bat Yahm
Newport Beach
Most certainly it benefits a person when they promise to make
changes to better their lives. The first benefit comes when the
person acknowledges their flaws or ill health style. Next comes the
easy part, to try to make the changes; however, as most of us know,
the hardest part is sticking to them. Nonetheless, we should not wait
around till next year to propose another New Year’s resolution; with
each “New Day” comes a renewed resolution and another attempt.
IMAM MOUSTAFA AL-QAZWINI
Islamic Educational Center
of Orange County
Costa Mesa
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