Enduring a not-so white Christmas

MICHELE MARR

It’s about this time each year that I find myself particularly

thinking about people who may find it hard to have a Merry Christmas

and a Happy New Year.

There are, this year, the families with children and siblings and

spouses on duty in Iraq, Afghanistan and other dangerous places.

There are those who have lost a family member to age, illness or

accident. Each time I hear a fatal accident reported along with the

traffic reports, I flinch.

There are those who have lost a job and those who know their job’s

future is in peril.

There are those who, like it or not, are on strike, facing the

holidays and mounting bills minus several months of pay.

There are parents with gravely-ill children and children with

gravely-ill parents.

There are parents of missing children, like the parents of Dru

Sjodin, the 22-year-old University of North Dakota student who, if

she has not been found, will have been missing more than a month on

Christmas day.

Anyone who has ever suffered a loss or any other deep emotional

wound close to the Christmas season knows first-hand that not every

Christmas is merry and bright. All the bustle and the images of home

and hearth, family, friends and celebration can make the pain even

worse.

“For those who have lost a loved one, their job, a relationship or

even a beloved pet, those images only enhance the sense of loss and

loneliness,” said the Rev. Amy Pringle, assistant rector of St.

Wilfrid of York Episcopal Church.

While Bing Crosby croons about dreaming of a white Christmas over

the mall store speakers, many are dreading a blue one.

And those blues don’t necessarily come from recent hurts or

losses. They might just as often be attached to events of the past.

The Rev. Karen Wojahn, director of children’s ministries at St.

Wilfrid of York, recalls one parishioner who told her, “I hate

Christmas. I can’t wait until it’s over.” Another told her, “I’ll

never put a Christmas tree up again.”

Theirs were past feelings that haunted them. As Wojahn spoke with

one of the women, she discovered the woman had grown up with an

alcoholic parent who beat her, her mother and her siblings during the

holidays.

“Those who feel blue during the holiday rush can be doubly hurt by

feeling isolated and out of step with the joy of the season,” Pringle

said, which is why a Blue Christmas service is held in the chapel of

St. Wilfrid of York every year.

The service provides a respite from the holiday rush, a quiet hour

of prayer, music and scripture. Forced joy is not expected of anyone.

Blue Christmas simply offers the “light of God’s promises shining

as hope in the darkness,” Pringle said.

Instead of a monetary offering, participants can write their

losses or pains on slips of paper that are collected and offered to

God. At the end of the service, clergy and lay ministers will be

available to pray with those who seek individual prayer.

Following the Blue Christmas service this year, everyone who

attends will be invited to a luncheon sponsored by the Celebration of

Wisdom, the parish’s seniors’ group.

The Blue Christmas service will be held Saturday at 10 a.m., in

the chapel at St. Wilfrid of York Episcopal Church at 18631 Chapel

Lane, two blocks east of Beach Boulevard off Ellis Avenue.

Anyone who for any reason finds the month of December less than

merry is invited to attend. Call the church for more information at

(714) 962-7512.

* MICHELE MARR is a freelance writer from Huntington Beach. She

can be reached at [email protected].