Nice form in that form letter

JUNE CASAGRANDE

Oh, happy day!

Today I’m thrilled to report having received a near-perfect

example of well-written and grammatically correct business

correspondence.

This stellar example of language mastery came in the form of a

letter I received from the mutual fund company Strong Funds in the

wake of allegations that the fund’s founder has been engaging in

questionable trading practices that shortchanged small investors.

The letter begins, “Dear Ms. Casagrande” -- not “Dear Investor,”

as so many less-caring companies might have begun. This tells me that

I, June Casagrande, am important to them. My stake in their

multibillion-dollar fund might be just a puny one (puny, puny, puny),

but clearly, they understand and care that it’s still a lot of money

to me. Before even reading the first sentence, I know I’m in good

hands.

The first two paragraphs are shining examples of a something I’ve

written about here: Use the word “you” to engage a reader and show

her you have her interests in mind.

“You likely have many questions regarding reports of recent

regulatory inquiries into mutual fund trading practices, the

announcement of recent changes at Strong, and your own investments in

the Strong Funds,” the first paragraph begins.

The second paragraph gets even better: “Your concerns are

important to us.”

Who wouldn’t love to hear that?

As I read on, I was delighted to see that the writer skillfully

sidestepped almost all of the pitfalls to which most business writers

fall prey:

“Mr. Strong does not believe that his transactions were disruptive

to any of the funds in which he invested.”

Notice the writer’s adept avoidance of the temptation to end the

sentence in a preposition. Many might have written, “funds he

invested in.” The wonderful people at Strong rose above.

Ending sentences with prepositions is one of those “rules” that

even the experts agree isn’t hard-and-fast. “The traditional caveat

of yesteryear against ending sentences with prepositions is, for most

writers, an unnecessary and pedantic restriction,” the Chicago Manual

of Style notes. “A sentence that ends in a preposition may sound more

natural than a sentence carefully constructed to avoid a final

preposition.”

A brief refresher: Prepositions are little words like “as,” “at,”

“by,” “from,” “in,” “with,” “up,” etc. that position a noun to other

parts of the sentence. Most grammar experts say to avoid putting them

at the end of a sentence, except when to do otherwise would make for

an awkward sentence. A priceless example is attributed to Winston

Churchill: “That is the type of arrant pedantry up with which I shall

not put.”

So, by all means, don’t feel you’re using bad English if you say,

“Where are you from?” instead of “From where are you?” On the

contrary, the first one is definitely better.

Yet those fabulous folks at Strong know exactly when to observe

the rule -- a clear indication of their unwavering reverence for

rules in general.

The letter writer also dazzled me with an expert use of

punctuation in a bulleted list.

In listing the highlights of a thorough self-review the company

plans to conduct, the writer skillfully observed some arcane rules.

According to Chicago Style, for bulleted or numbered lists, you

should:

* end all but the last bulleted item with a semicolon;

* place the optional word “and” after the semicolon; and

* finish with a period.

Other style books disagree, by the way, saying to end each item

with a period. If you go the semicolon route, you’re supposed to

begin each item with a lowercase letter. If you use periods at the

end of each item, begin each with a capital letter, which makes sense

because the periods make them like complete sentences.

Either way, take comfort in knowing that I needed the help of

three of my colleagues to figure out these conflicting rules, so even

if you get it wrong, no one will know.

But the Strong letter writer was savvy to this arcane stuff. He or

she even understood an even trickier use of the semicolon. Sometimes

the semicolon is used between two clauses that could stand on their

own as sentences, but are really part of a single idea: “You are

investing in the stocks, bonds, and other securities that the mutual

fund owns; you are not investing in Strong.”

Isn’t that wonderful? You’re looking at one happy Strong customer.

* JUNE CASAGRANDE covers Newport Beach and John Wayne Airport. She

may be reached at (949) 574-4232 or by e-mail at

[email protected].