Finding a family

Deirdre Newman

Pat Finicum didn’t think it was possible. His wife, Dawn, had faith

that it was.

Dawn Finicum tracked down Pat’s birth mother and his siblings,

some as far away as Iowa.

And the Costa Mesa resident did it in just four days.

She found that her husband had two half-brothers, one half-sister

and another sibling who’s most likely his full brother.

Both half-brothers live in Southern California, affording Pat the

opportunity to get to know the family he has lived so long without.

As it turns out, they have a lot in common.

“It’s neat to meet people I should have met years ago,” he said.

“It’s neat to catch up on stuff and then there’s stuff you don’t have

to [catch up on].”

WITH A LITTLE LUCK

While Pat knew he was adopted since he was about 12 or 13, he

hesitated to explore his birth family because doing so had driven a

wedge between one of his cousins and her adoptive mother and he

didn’t want that to happen.

But in July when his wife saw a family reunited on “The Oprah

Winfrey Show” shortly after her husband showed her his adoption

papers, she knew she had to try.

Pat wasn’t optimistic.

“I told her, ‘You’ll be lucky if anybody talks to you,’” he said.

Using the only information she had -- his mother’s last name --

she got online and used the same firm featured on the show,

BigHugs.com. That pulled up 195 matches with the same last name.

Since she knew his mother was from Iowa, she started calling the

matches there.

“I got someone on the phone who had me call someone else who was

doing genealogy,” Dawn said.

Within 30 minutes, the person called back with a match.

Dawn learned her husband’s mother’s first name was Sena and that

she had died in 1999 in her 70s. She also found out that Sena had

five other children -- Larry Adelmund, Gerald Adelmund, Kevin

Adelmund, Phyllis Pittman and Sherry Adelmund. Four were still alive;

Sherry had passed away of brain cancer.

She called Gerald first.

He was so shocked he told her to call his brother, Larry, who was

equally floored.

But Dawn couldn’t share the news with her husband until he came

back from a weekend fishing trip. “I got home Sunday morning,” Pat

said. “She said, ‘I found your brothers.’ And I started crying....

That whole day was an emotionally screwed up day. Then I had to go

and clean the fish.”

He quickly went from having an adoptive sister to having five

siblings. And after 43 years of only knowing his adoptive family, it

was initially hard for him to shake some skepticism.

As a final confirmation, Dawn found the hospital in Southern

California where her husband was born. He visited the hospital and

saw with his own eyes the administrative book that noted his birth.

“Man, I just said, ‘That’s all the proof I need,” he said.

As fate would have it, Kevin, 45, was already planning a trip out

to California the next week from his home in Waterloo, Iowa. Larry,

61, who lives in Yorba Linda and brother Gerald, 55, who lives in

Mira Loma, planned a get-together.

Once together, they perused the adoption papers and reveled in the

similarity of their features.

“We have some pictures on our entryway of our relations and

everything fit,” Larry said.

Considering the short time everyone had to sift through their

emotions, the evening was remarkably comfortable, he said.

FULL OF EMOTIONS

When Kevin came out to visit, Pat and Dawn were still waiting for

DNA tests to see if Pat was Kevin’s half-brother or full-brother. On

Sept. 25, Pat got the news that there is a 98% chance that they are

full brothers.

The news cemented the emotions the men were feeling.

“It’s really awesome to have a younger brother, even though we’re

45 and 43 now,” Kevin said. “Every time we talk on the phone, we’re

always laughing and catching up on things.”

When the Finicums go to Iowa later this month for the big family

reunion, they will be staying with the new full brother.

“I can’t wait,” Pat said. “That’s going to be the kicker. All

these people that I never knew, never met.”

Among those will be Phyllis, the last of the siblings for Pat to

meet.

Phyllis, who lives in Cedar Falls, Iowa, said she also couldn’t

wait to meet her new brother.

“I talked to him once on the phone and welcomed him into the

family,” she said.

And that family is big and growing, Larry said.

“We have eight grandchildren right now and another one on the

way,” he said.

LOOKS AREN’T DECEIVING

All four brothers have warm eyes, pronounced dimples and

mustaches.

On a recent Saturday afternoon at Pat’s house, they drank beer and

traded tales of their outdoor escapades. The three are colorful

storytellers, gesturing with their hands while their eyes sparkle

with boyish mischievousness as they share stories of kayaking and

tubing.

“We don’t get in wrestling matches or anything like that,” Larry

said. “We just sit around and talk.”

The common traits they share are striking.

Pat works in construction for a homebuilder. Larry also works in

construction. Pat has been mechanically inclined ever since he tore

bikes apart as a youngster. Kevin is a mechanic.

They share a lot of interests too.

“We like customized cars with big motors,” Larry said, as he

admired Pat’s 100-year anniversary-model Harley Davidson motorcycle

parked in his driveway.

Pat can’t wait to take Larry and Gerald to his old stomping

grounds in Huntington Beach where he grew up. He’s already taken

Larry on his boat to Catalina to go fishing. Gerald didn’t go because

he gets seasick. Good thing, because on the way back the boat hit a

big fish, which delayed its homecoming.

“That’s all I needed,” Gerald said, laughing.

The only sport that Pat enjoys that his half brothers don’t is

surfing. There’s always hope for Kevin, though.

“I’ll teach him,” Pat said.

As Pat surveyed the scene of these strangers who suddenly fell

into his life, like shooting stars, he uncharacteristically expressed

his emotions.

“It’s just been really cool,” Pat said. “I feel like I’ve know

these guys for years now. “I don’t know about [how they feel], but I

love them. They’re great guys.”

* DEIRDRE NEWMAN covers Costa Mesa and may be reached at (949)

574-4221 or by e-mail at [email protected].