Who has this answer?

JUNE CASAGRANDE

You know how I always try to be understanding and forgiving of other

people’s grammar mistakes? You know how I try to be humble --

self-effacing even -- about the limits of my own language ability?

Well, kiss that June goodbye. Because today I’m going to talk

about something that really burns my bloomers. Here’s an example:

“Thank you for taking time to meet with John and I.”

Tell me, people: What’s up with that? Why is it that everyone I

know seems to make this mistake? Well-educated friends and family do

it. I’ve heard at least one editor here do it. Everybody does it. And

what’s baffling and frustrating is that nobody -- nobody -- makes the

following mistake:

“Thanks for taking time to meet with I,” or, some other examples,

“Want to come to the movies with I?” “Will you get I a cup of

coffee?” or, for you narcissists, “Let’s talk about I.”

The difference between subject and object pronouns is instinctive

to just about any native speaker. You wouldn’t say, “Him is our new

vice president.” Even when I’m this irked, I wouldn’t have to stop

and think whether “Me so cranky” would be correct.

It’s instinctive. We all know this stuff already, without even

thinking out it. But for some reason, whenever we put “John and” (or

“Arnold and” or “Englebert and” or “Shakira and”) in front, all of a

sudden we think it’s rocket science.

If you’re not sure whether to say John and I or John and me,

you’re not alone. But maybe you should be.

Here’s the only thing you need to know to always -- always -- get

this one right: Ditch John. Remove the “name and” before I or me and

instantly it becomes crystal clear which one is correct.

“I” is a subject pronoun. Like “he,” “she,” “we” and “they,” it is

used to refer to the person or thing performing the action. “Me” is

an object pronoun. Like “him,” “her,” “us” and “them,” it refers to

the object of an action. “She threw the ball at me.” “I want to dance

with him.” Don’t get confused by whether the object is getting in on

some action, as in the dance example. The real action of this

sentence is “want.”

So when in doubt whether to say “John and I” or “John and me,”

just go it alone. Try it once without John, then it will become clear

that “John and I love to go to the movies” but that “You’re invited

to come along with John and me.”

Whew. I feel better. Now I suppose I can point out a related issue

that’s a little trickier.

That’s right, I’m talking about that word that single-handedly

stereotypes everyone who cares about grammar while at the same time

giving everyone else an excuse to write us off as nitpicky biddies.

The perfect example for grammar foes who argue that the whole topic

is impractical and unrealistic.

I’m speaking, of course, about “whom” -- a word that, in casual

speech, is practically useless (unless you’re trying to annoy friends

and alienate people). I never use whom in casual conversation. In

formal correspondence, I use it only with careful consideration.

But -- big but -- even though I don’t advocate a renaissance of

the days when “whom” played into everyday speech, I believe that in

business it’s important to know how to use it, even if you choose not

to.

And here’s how to use it: Just as I discussed above, the

difference here is the difference between subjects and objects.

“Whom” is a object. “You’re voting for whom?” “Who” is the subject.

“Who will miss Gray Davis in a week?” It gets tricky at times,

especially because it often comes up in question form and questions

are often structured differently.

We’ll go into that in further detail next week. Whom’s with I?

* JUNE CASAGRANDE covers Newport Beach and John Wayne Airport. She

may be reached at (949) 574-4232 or by e-mail at

[email protected].